I aint much for shoppin’ Or for goin into town Except at cattle-shippin’ Time, I aint too easily found. But the day came when I had to go - I left the kids with Ma. But fore I left, she asked me, Would you pick me up a bra? So without thinkin I said, Sure, How tough could that job be? An I bent down and kissed her An said, Ill be back by three. Well, I done the things I needed, But I started to regret Ever offering to buy that thing - I worked me up a sweat I walked into the ladies shop My hat pulled over my eyes, I didnt want to take a chance On bein recognized. I walked up to the sales clerk - I didnt hem or haw - I told that lady right straight out, Im here to buy a bra. From behind I heard some snickers, So I turned around to see Every woman in that store Was agawkin right at me! What kind would you be looking for? Well, I just scratched my head. Id only seen one kind before, Thought bras was bras, I said. She gave me a disgusted look, Well sir, thats where youre wrong. Follow me, I heard her say, Like a dog, I tagged along. She took me down this alley Where bras was on display. I thought my jaw would hit the floor When I saw that lingerie. They had all these different styles That Id never seen before I thought Id go plumb crazy fore I left that womens store. They had bras you wear for eighteen hours And bras that cross your heart. There was bras that lift and separate, And that was just the start. They had bras that made you feel Like you aint wearin’ one at all, And bras that you can train in When you start off when youre small. Well, I finally made my mind up - Picked a black and lacy one - I told the lady, Bag it up And figured I was done. But then she asked me for the size I didnt hesitate I knew that measurement by heart, A six-and-seven-eighths. Six and seven eighths you say? That really isnt right. Oh, yes maam! Im real positive - I measured them last night! I thought that shed go into shock, Musta took her by surprise When I told her that my wifes bust Was the same as my hat size. Thats what I used to measure with, I figured it was fair, But if Im wrong, Im sorry maam. This drew another stare. By now a crowd had gathered And they all was crackin up When the lady asked to see my hat, To measure for the cup. When she finally had it figured, I gave the gal her pay. Then I turned to leave the store, Tipped my hat and said, Good day. My wife had heard the story fore I ever made it home. Shed talked to fifteen women Who called her on the phone. She was still a-laughin But by then I didnt care. Now she dont ask and I dont shop For womens underwear. ~ Author Unknown ~
Posted on: Mon, 07 Apr 2014 17:42:32 +0000
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