I am a Ragamuffin... ~Bruce~ A Ragamuffin knows he is only a beggar at the door of Gods mercy. I am now utterly convinced that on judgment day, God is going ta ask one and only one question...Did you believe I loved you Brennan Manning talking with Rich Mullins (in the film) My life so far on this earth parallels the life of Rich Mullins, in so many ways...I have tried in so many ways to live up to the moralistic rules of Christianity, and have failed time, and time again and I have hated myself every time I have failed, failing to realized the Lord loves me as I am and not what I am supposed to be in the eyes of others...in church or not... Here I am 64 years old, trembling like a leaf...wondering, asking myself if God really loves me...not because I have been good, well mannered, well behaved but at times the complete opposite and I have hated myself for all the bad deeds done...despite all those I have hurt, the one, I have hurt the most is Bruce...myself...and I find it so hard to let him in, when Ralph Harris has told me he is already living in me, loving me, accepting me, lavishing his love on me... Watching this film today made me weep to the core and buckle over with the pain I have held inward for so, so very long, afraid to show you how really screwed up I feel myself to be...how terribly unworthy I have felt for years...even my poetry has been a front to some degree...If I could just dazzle them with words, write the greatest poem ever written, I would be loved and feel it and know it for keeps...maybe the greatest poem ever written is...me...written by the hand of God, and not to be so vain, you as well...maybe...God does love me...screwed up and a Ragamuffin that I am... ~Bruce~ youtube/watch?v=NF7qbCTFja0
Posted on: Fri, 14 Nov 2014 23:48:45 +0000
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