I am not big on shrinks. Basically I see it as being like going to a mechanic. The difference is an inept shrink can do far more damage than a poorly trained mechanic because the results often do not show up for years. It is not that I do not believe they are useful. I believe they can be very helpful but I live in a rural area and the ones who are the best tend to go where there is a bigger customer base so I assume I need to exercise caution. That said, yesterday I went to my daughters pediatrician to ask him for the name of a good child psychologist. Stinks but this thing with my son has just complicated an already complex situation beyond words. Last night I once again found myself trying to explain TBI and PTSD to a preschooler. When I say James is sick she thinks he is going to go to heaven and God will fix him. OK, that is fine unless he shows up at the house in a messed up state. He is potentially dangerous right now so I have to guard against that. Also she thinks he is going to go to heaven and be fixed then bring Colin home allowing me to raise her with Larry, my late husband Colin and James ALL in her life. Alternate to that is her belief that since I can fix broken dolls and sick animals that I should be able to fix James. I am shooting for telling her the good part of her brother died and is in heaven with her daddy and God but his body is here on Earth still and the inside of his head is broken in a way I cannot fix. The thing is that like all 3 year olds she keeps revisiting the situation so I have this conversations multiple times a day. Doing that calmly and in mommy mode takes a lot out of me because I am hurting a great deal over the situation with my son too. Larry keeps telling me hose strong I am and how well I am handling things but the truth is I am just really self contained so that I can protect my daughter from seeing me fall apart over my son. Life is complicated... isnt it?
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 14:03:52 +0000
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