I am proud of myself this week. Ive left the house countless times. I havent been able (afraid to) leave the house for fear of anxiety and panic attacks. Ive only cried once in public this week. Which is good. Ive walked thru Walmart by myself crying many times. Its embarassing. Of course people look at me and thank God say nothing. I started grief counceling. I go every week. It actually helps. I can unload on her. My family has moved foward, which is good for them. They dont want to talk about Tiffany anymore. Mikayla and I havent moved on yet. Especially me. Mac goes to a different councelor, she also suffers panic and anxiety. I bought Tiffany a Coach purse for Christmas. She loved it. Mac ask for it. My heart sank and it took me a few days, but I gave it to her yesterday. It made her so happy. It made me happy to see it being used instead of sitting in my closet. My son moved home and he wont let me mope. Kind of pisses me off.lol. Sometimes I just want to. I keep reminding myself that she no longer suffers. Im still selfish. I wanted to keep her with me.
Posted on: Thu, 30 Oct 2014 13:28:01 +0000
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