I am taking a one day pass on.sharing on fb today, mostly cause I cant hold it in...it was a difficult day emotionally, mentally and physically. I shared I was doing a oral interpretation today....you all gave such amazing wonderful support thank you for that I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart, another reason I feel inclined to share, I always hope my vulnerability and willingness to be transparent helps someone out there. Here is the Quick synopsis, So I got to the front of the class saw the peoples faces and thought in my head oh sh$& my heart was already beating heavily in my throat, my face started feeling flush, everyone was staring at me, so I started, I could hear myself echo, my voice was not as shakey as I originally anticipated but shakier than I wanted it to be. I tried to make eye contact with the crowd, it seemed to make the anxiety worse I started imagining laughing, whispering, I could no longer look at the class I felt my words started loosing its meaning, I.could feel all the eyes staring at me, my face getting hotter and legs unnoticeable trembling, I then started reading faster than I wanted, at the end I dont remember reading the last half ..but I did, I just heard the clapping of the class as it ended. That was my cue to have a seat. Several people turned to me and said thank you for sharing that, that was very brave took a good 20 minutes for my eyes to stop burning the heat to regulate in my face and the trembling to stop. After I went up more people started volunteering themselves to go up where no one was volunteering before that (except those comfortable enough in their own skin) I must have been the barrier between knowing its ok to be scared and nervous to make everyone else comfortable. I did catch their attention, I wish I could have caught it insight with my own. At the end of class the professor did a quick individual critique with the class and one class member was allowed to say something positive. I was nervous I was expecting no eye contact, no non verbal communication, no emotion instead she said she was very humbled, I challenged myself by taking a risk and caught peoples emotion with my testimony, that I put emotion into the piece and was unique. Then only one student was allowed to comment positivley, someone said they were inpressed with the ability to share a tough situation with out letting emotion take completley over (I think they were being nice thats not what I felt) and 5 or 6 other classmates.clapped there hands and said thank you for sharing your heart to us! Wow I am blown away I saw things going so differently in my head today. I practiced my interp.so many times verbal and non verbal communication eye contact only a.hint of nervousness, instead I.had the complete.opposite and people.still liked it! It was still mentally.exhausting I.was welcomed home with a big hug from all my boys, a humble vessel of God is exactly what it was meant to be!
Posted on: Wed, 09 Apr 2014 05:35:59 +0000
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