I am the human equivalent of beige, taupe, or perhaps a zesty mauve. I am as gray and lukewarm as a person can get. The only thing Im passionate about is maximizing my earning potential within the domain of your company--at least until I have emancipated myself from student debt. I have created this social networking facade in the event that someone considering employing me can find it like an Easter egg and check off on their review that there was nothing in social media to cause them to become aghast and reconsider extending a job offer. I assure you that I am as mild-mannered as Clark Kent, as obedient and hardworking as Boxer from Orwells Animal Farm, and that if permitted to work 19 hour days for you, six days per week, I am physically and mentally fit to do so with gusto as long as youre fit to pay me enough that I can eradicate my debt within two years. In a very literal sense, I will be your Commander Data, the only phantom of emotion I will feel is gratitude and hope as I look forward to my emancipation within reach on the horizon. There is something larger at stake than just money or careerism, but my very humanity. I have many ideas. They are for sale a la carte, you do not own them just because you write me a paycheck. However, as ...hands are for shaking, not for tying, youll find that I am more than willing to discuss matters on premises not owned by an organization I am contractually bound to and especially not on their time (Soundgarden, 1994). If the corporation wishes to buy anything I have to sell beyond the exchange of my exempt-status (salaried) hours for money, I will also discuss it, but not without my own legal counsel present as ideas are pith and intellectual property amounts to wishful thinking unless one has money to pit the quick against the dead--or those against the trolls. So, it means that Id be happy to develop any of the delightful products for mass consumption I have up my sleeve, but unless the price is right, Im going to do it on my own for the sake of the craft, the art, and the science. I want to be worth something and I want my work to reflect that desire emphatically and unambiguously. I want to get paid so I can be free and stand erect, but beyond that my own desire for success is not monetary. It is not even necessarily legacy. It is for the sake of the ability to never have to doubt my own goodness. I could put up a lot of phony stuff about what consumer choices I make or tell you who I used to know and who I still do. However, that is private and innocuous. It would put inquiring minds to sleep. In any case, I hope that any professional organization that has sought to find my social media presence will not see this as anti-social or laziness at marketing myself. I understand social media, I just think it is a Pandoras box for most of its users and I have better things to do with my time than stroke my own narcissism or someone elses. There are social media outlets that exist to inculcate actual meaningful corporeal bonds between former strangers and preserve the fading bonds of youth. Facebook can be used to do this, but it is a problem their business model will eventually need to overcome to remain relevant. It is imperative that it not become a place where people go to watch the aging process take its toll on people they met twenty years prior and rarely, if ever, speak to on the telephone or see in person. It is a museum to acrimony should that occur and sooner or later, people will stop using it rather than get used to that feeling. So, I do not intend to litter this profile with pictures that depict me as a happy-go-lucky fellow fretting over my professional appearance as I try to look like just the right amount of aging hipster. Not my bag. I hope it isnt yours either. I want a job and I do not mind befriending coworkers, but if there was ever anything I respected of other people and beloved of them, it was their ability to grant me the token harmless corners of my private life to be separate from their own. I want to be your teammate. I want to have your back in a fight and Im more than willing to take the big one. Recruiter, you came looking for evidence of character and Id say youve found it if you have read all of this. You have my resume so I wont repeat it here. Call me for coffee talk if you actually want to get to know me. Sincerely, Joshua Josh Greenfield
Posted on: Sat, 01 Feb 2014 05:32:59 +0000
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