I apologize that this is a long post. But it is important to me. Suicide is a big topic this week and understandably so. I have seen media and people on Facebook wax poetically about what it is, why people do it, why they shouldnt have done it and what they really should have thought about first. Most of this is well intended, but my heart screams for it to stop. If you havent traveled that road, you simply do not understand. First of all, people on the verge of suicide don’t think like you think. They have already lost that ability. It is IMPOSSIBLE for them to think the way you do in those remaining dark moments. So you simply must stop saying “if they thought about this, or considered that, or loved their wife or their children”. No. They are unable to see these things. Nor are they being selfish. In fact, many people who commit suicide believe strongly – when their mind is in that dark desperate place – that their leaving will help solve the problems that they have caused or will make people happy again. Remember: they don’t think like you think at that moment. I found an article by Kate Hurley and want to share this excerpt because it speaks the truth: Suicide is a decision made out of desperation, hopelessness, isolation and loneliness. The black hole that is clinical depression is all-consuming. Feeling like a burden to loved ones, feeling like there is no way out, feeling trapped and feeling isolated are all common among people who suffer from depression. People who say that suicide is selfish always reference the survivors. Its selfish to leave children, spouses and other family members behind, so they say. Theyre not thinking about the survivors, or so they would have us believe. What they dont know is that those very loved ones are the reason many people hang on for just one more day. They do think about the survivors, probably up until the very last moment in many cases. But the soul-crushing depression that envelops them leaves them feeling like there is no alternative. Like the only way to get out is to opt out. And that is a devastating thought to endure. Until youve stared down that level of depression, until youve lost your soul to a sea of emptiness and darkness... you dont get to make those judgments. You might not understand it, and you are certainly entitled to your own feelings, but making those judgments and spreading that kind of negativity wont help the next person. In fact, it will only hurt others. So I say to my friends and others: If you haven’t been there, spend less time making judgments, zero time speculating and more time praying for the soul of the person who died and for the futures filled with questions that the survivors will be left to deal with.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 21:01:50 +0000
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