I could not enjoy the Holiday I truly tried but after hearing tragic news I was thrown for a loop and in all honesty being a mirror projection of offensiveness during stressful times is wearing me down. While some of you absolutely respect and honor my gifts many find me offensive ridiculous and out of alignment. Being the subject of harsh opinions and judgements is nothing new but what is new is my sense of despair and the desire to secure my space here or anywhere on this planet. Ive been increasingly becoming more intuitive and sensitive and the simplest tasks have been draining me of much needed energy and self focus. The commercializing, materializing and trivializing of sacred events has never felt more vacuous but I focus beyond it. I am not a negative soul I dont believe in dooms day scenarios and Im not a religious person either but I have always had a deep respect for rituals and celebration that give meaning and purpose to our daily experiences of life. Nonetheless, that being said I could not muster up the spirit to celebrate in the sugar sweet highs and bunny kisses. I had a difficult time speaking and connecting yesterday and this feeling of traveling in the opposite direction as the crowd has increased tenfold this morning. So Im going to take a break maybe this sudden agitation is from spending increased time outside inhaling pesticides and lawn chemicals but grieving seems to have become an integral part of my daily existence. The realization that I need to become as hardy and simplistic as a cockroach to survive the poison we imbibe is not inspiring to say the least and with each passing year the spring air seems to be more hazardous to my health. I am sorry if I have offended, disappointed or confused anyone but I do not apologize for being ME and sharing my heart and my schizophrenic mind.
Posted on: Mon, 21 Apr 2014 13:31:24 +0000
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