I didnt grow up a city boy. I still smile at people on the street. I say thank you to waiters and bartenders and check-out girls. Im actually painfully shy, yet people often think Im not because Im so open and trusting and friendly that, to a person more accustomed to being lost in the crowd, it can be misinterpreted as somehow false or self-motivated. What do you want from me? Everyone projects, even me, and I often expect people to trust me and automatically know my intentions are good because thats how I view most people until they let me down. Most people I knew growing up were completely worthy of that trust because you just couldnt get away with anything or change crowds in a small town (or no town at all). You had to seek the truth and make amends. Likewise, people in the city are *generally* less trustworthy and project less trust onto others. People dont know how to communicate because a fundamental part of good communication is trust. If you dont trust the person youre communicating with, nothing they say matters. Theyre probably just lying anyway. Megan and I never fought... ever. When she had a problem she asked me about it, just like I always do. If two people have good intentions toward one another then almost every problem is the result of a misinterpretation and can be resolved with good communication. The worst problems have arisen in other relationships because the person held things in that a) may never have happened at all or b) didnt happen the way they perceived it or c) could have been easily apologized for and remedied. Some people really seem to want to hold onto whatever they can, true or not true, so they can build you into any monster they want whenever they need to explain to themselves why theyre feeling so shitty. Ive learned its really important to detect when people are spinning your attempts at open communication as manipulation, criticism, or drama whenever they dont like what youre saying. Let them shut you down and over time you will simply become a projector screen, and the narrative will be whatever they need it to be. COMMUNICATE!
Posted on: Tue, 04 Mar 2014 06:30:18 +0000
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