I dont know. I just dont know. Ive been told that no matter what I did during my time in the military, I should be proud of what I did. I just....I just dont think I made a difference. Sure I was only in the National Guard. Sure, I was deployed. I was at La Guardia the day the war in Afghanistan started. I was in a hotel room watching the opening days of the Iraq war start on TV. I went to Iraq in 2006. I saw and experienced things that the majority of the population will never experience. Did I see direct combat? No. Was I subject to harassing fire both small arms and indirect fire? Yes. I was, for the majority of my deployment a fobbit, POG, whatever you want to call it. I went on a convoy once to the International Zone while I was out by Baghdad International Airport. I went outside the wire on foot to ECP 13 on Route Irish. But, did I make a difference. I saw and dealt with the worst of what a soldier can, has, and will do to themselves in their strongest moment of desperation. So, let me ask yall this...the VA says I have PTSD. I believe I have PTSD. Is it that Im weak and foolish? What did I really do? Im proud that I served. Something that less than 2% of our population does. But, what difference did I make? Did I really defend our nation and her people? I dont know anymore. Im just not sure what to think anymore....
Posted on: Fri, 22 Nov 2013 09:09:31 +0000
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