I dont know about anyone else who has experienced unexpected - TopicsExpress

I dont know about anyone else who has experienced unexpected traumatic death(s) of loved ones in their lives, but for me (besides the depth of my unresting emotional grief) My mind keeps showing me where I went wrong, what I could have or should have done differently. So far back to when my ego was my master in charge. I detest my ego by the way she is self absorbed & selfish. Funny thing about it though I never thought these things about myself because I know I am generous...anyhow it is a shame I see all my older imperfections. I want my mind to show me good things I did. I want my mind to practice what I believe in & stop showing replays of things I cannot change. I wonder too what stage am I even in? I think maybe it is the Stage of Bargaining...maybe Isolation as I have issues in public after a duration of time. It feels like a heavy weight smashes down on me. Everyone grieves differently, some hold it in, some cry out loud. I do both...but I would prefer to not have to do this at all!!

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