I feel lucky to be alive tonight. I went through this weird phase in the last few days especially. I was rage-ful. I took on and felt every sadness of animal neglect and torture, not to mention that of many humans on the wrong side of the world, whether in Palestine or Hong Kong, in different ways. And, my rage grew to the point I was up round the clock over days. Viciously and constantly fighting. And, out of nowhere, non-vegans who dont know me started emailing me. Taunting me. I gave back in vengeance with every ounce of my being. Dont let them get you violent. Once they get you violent, then they know how to handle you. - John Lennon “He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster . . . when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you” - Friedrich Nietzsche Towards the end of entertaining a chain of rhetoric aimed at hurting with a non-vegan, I strangely ended with, Thanks for this experience. I wish you good luck. Thanks for letting me have this experience of rage. Strange in that it was out of nowhere. I was nothing but hate for him until that moment. Right then, I began to lose sensation in my arms. And, my legs. I panicked, thinking for sure I was dying. What a STUPID way to die. All this rage. My pushing the walls of this life. It brought me back to 2006 when I drank so heavily that I lost my whole row of front teeth in passing out and smashing on the floor. To wake up a pool of blood a day later. Shivering. I was back into my old ways. But, I felt it was the rage that almost killed me today. The transcendent energy saying, in a way, I dont like who you are being. ... And I can pull this plug very quickly on you. Recovering. Im always pushing the damned walls of life. Today, the transcendent asked if I was ready to push through the last one. Im not. Not yet. What a stupid way to go. I am vegan. Yes. I am not a raging insane beast, at the expense of all who need me. I pushed that wall far enough. I have to get back to peace and love. God lives on *both* sides of the energy. But God wants me back on the side where there is light.
Posted on: Tue, 07 Oct 2014 00:42:52 +0000
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