I find myself constantly asking the question: is victory over Arsenal worth celebrating? There are victories we celebrate wildly, like the one against City. We chose the type of victories to celebrate because when we celebrate a goal, we destroy our trousers gliding on the ground and thump fists violently in the air we could hurt ourselves. I dont ever want to hurt myself or destroy my trousers celebrating victory against Arsenal. Last night, Chelsea clobbered them 0-2 at their backyard. I already knew it, even if some folks did not want to believe it, that Chelsea would run riot at the Emirates Stadium. They are not peers with Chelsea. I watch these matches not to celebrate the victory but for the side shows! For example, last night I stayed late to watch the match because I love blood and tears and I knew a lot was going to be spilt at the Emirates turf. You can call me a sadist. What else would you call a man whose other favorite pastime is watching crocodiles maul wildbeasts on National Geographic as they cross the Mara River from Serengeti into the Mara? And so I draw that analogy. Chelsea was that crocodile and Arsenal the hapless wildbeast. The funniest thing about the crocodile kind of hunting is that unlike the wild cats, it does not go for the jugular. It grabs any part of the body using its powerful jaws and suffocates or water boards the prey in water. It might be the leg, the belly or such other part of the wild beasts body but the gnu has no chance in hell or on earth against the crocodile. Last night, the menacing Chelsea crocodile did not pounce at the leg or head of the Arsenal prey. Of course it did not go for the jugular. It went for the balls. Yes, I just said that! The beauty of this hunting style is that the death is slow and painful. The cats kill the prey fast because an assault on the jugular means the prey dies fast. Yet another funny thing about the crocodile style of hunting is that, it catches the prey just at that point when the prey thinks it is out of danger. Like when a defender gives a seemingly harmless back pass to the goal keeper. We all saw it with Manchester City on Sunday. We saw it yet again last night. The Chelsea poachers are always lurking behind their rivals defenders, waiting to pounce. Do you know what the Aristocrats have achieved? You can watch subsequent matches from now on and I can bet no defender will play a back pass to their goal keeper when playing Chelsea. It is Chelsea alone who is now allowed that luxury. Special! The other side Show that distracted me from following the proceedings on the pitch was watching the frustration of Arsene Wenger. He would have loved to field a nondescript side to reduce the sting of defeat. However, the desire to win anything after eight long years of drought was so compelling, the thought of losing at home so distressing. So he fielded a strong side. Ramsey was on the pitch and so was Jack Wilshere. I thought I saw Vaemalin and Matasacker, I dont know how to spell their names. I saw Bendtner and and they introduced Ozil and Giroud later on. Arsenal wanted this thing badly, like the gnu desperate for greener pastures across the Mara River. I was talking of Wenger. His face, a contorted mask could not hide his frustration as his charges were battered left, right and centre on the pitch, his 50, 000 strong Arsenal fan outsang by the boisterous 9000 fans who had walked across the city to cheer on Chelsea. Talking about the Arsenal fans, they are the reason Arsenal is under performing. They are so loud that they give Arsene Wenger the false impression that everything is alright when all is terribly wrong. If they had been doing what they are supposed to do, to boo Wenger and the players, then something drastic would happen and for the better. I slept so peacefully because the neighbourhood was so quiet, the usual noise makers having been silenced. Weve got the last word!
Posted on: Wed, 30 Oct 2013 06:14:15 +0000
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