I guess it is time to tell you a story.... Almost 2 years ago, I was miserable. I was suicidal. I tried to kill myself twice. I did not recognize the person in the mirror.. She was a stranger.. All I saw were blank eyes. I saw a sadness. I didnt know how to live. I stopped smiling and laughing and talking to those around me. I was weak. I knew I had to do something. I knew that my marriage had been over years ago yet I stayed. I drank heavily. I ate enough food for a family of 4 daily. I was going to tip the scale at 400 pounds if I did not do something quickly. I was dying a slow death. I started looking on the company web page for openings. I asked for alerts to be sent to me. In early January of 2013, I got an alert about a job in Springfield, MO. I talked to my boss and I dont think she was too happy about it but she was very supportive. I did 2 interviews over the phone in the next week and a half and I was offered a position that started on the 28th of January.. that gave me less than 2 weeks to make my arrangements and leave.. I was running for my life. (I see now that I was running to my life) I bought a one way plane ticket to Springfield and booked a hotel room not knowing where I was going or where work was going to be but I left. Most people didnt think I would leave.. I had talked about leaving for years. I wasnt ready and God wasnt ready... I have to tell you that everything I did towards moving I said a prayer and pushed the submit button and things went through. I didnt have money in my account. I put it in overdraft. But things went through and early in the morning on the 26th, I got on an airplane with 2 suitcases and I left. Have I looked back... Oh yes... I miss my girls and grand kids. I miss my son. I miss the friends that have sent encouraging words to me throughout the time I have been away. Did things get better? Well a little.. I lost a lot of weight... That was a good thing... I started looking at myself differently.. I saw something that only a few that really know me saw hiding away... I needed to find her... And slowly she emerged. As did some other old patterns of living..... I thought that I needed a man to be complete so I got on dating sites.... BIG mistake... they are scammers and/or guys that wanted a booty call.... I got scammed badly by a couple of people.. I couldnt tell people because I was embarrassed. Who would admit something like that? Well what it did was made me homeless for the next year... Yes, for the next year I floated from one place to another, looking for work. I spent the holidays last year in Rolla, very sick, with no job, staying in a wonderful home with a kind person doing cleaning and reorganizing. I applied and applied for jobs and finally got a response from AT&T back in Springfield. I was so hopeful and I was scheduled for a second interview that I thought had gone very well. WRONG..... But I had met a couple and they helped me for a couple of months and things were well but I wasnt doing things that I should have been doing like working on my drivers license and hunting for a good job... eventually, I was asked to leave and I went to Arkansas with another couple that I had been talking to for almost a year. Nice people, or so I thought..... it wasnt nice... I was kept as a slave and beaten... I have the pictures to prove it. I escaped and moved out of Arkansas... this is where most of you started following me... I helped an elderly man get his garden in and did some cleaning and painting for a couple of weeks while I looked for work ... I found the job at Mutual of Omaha and had a great new start... until my knee blew out and I couldnt walk ... Since I couldnt get there, the temp agency ended my contract and my friends from Sarcoxie asked if I wanted to come back... I accepted, but I was not the same person.. I had a determination for a different life... I was no longer on the dating sites. I just wanted to accomplish some of the goals that I had set for myself when I left NY... and in the first week, I had my drivers license. I had a job that didnt work out but I was not discouraged.. I kept looking.. Today, I have a new beginning and as I ready myself for this new start, I have renewed faith and belief in God, My Father. I have been able to see His Hand in my life and but for the Grace of God, I am able to write this today. Yes, I have to do the work, but as long as I continue my walk with Him leading me, I will be ok. He is so good. This is a shortened version as to what has happened in my life in the last couple of years.... Eventually I will write the book and share my whole story. I want my life to be a confirmation of the scripture, I can do all things, through Christ, Who strengthens me.
Posted on: Wed, 19 Nov 2014 16:36:30 +0000