I have avoided what was called racism against white people for about 30 years. I believed [like many of you] the hype. That lynching was in the past; that the only black issues were education and jobs, oh and droopy pants. That our men are in jail because of something intrinsically wrong that they did, maybe post traumatic slave disorder. After all the president is Black, so many educated Black people have emerged in the media on news shows, leading dramas, etc. its better right? I made positive efforts to maintain good relations with all different kinds of people, Black White, Asian, miscellaneous. And when in my travels I encountered racist behavior at professional conferences [a few “you people’, you know “why do black people”, a few rooms that went silent, when I was the only black face in the room and I dared ask a question]. Take deep breaths, put on my game face, etc. after all I believed that racist white people were not in the majority of there would always be someone to back me up. Well just call me ‘ol head-in-the-sand’ Janice. From being a militant teenager who sat in hallways to demonstrate for African American studies, who changed her name to an African one, and gave both her children similar names, I grew up got a job and through a series of personal compromises forgot. I make no apologies; a sista’s gotta eat, so I went to work for “the system” thought I could change it from inside. 26 years later I feel like I’m right back where I was at 13 or 14 years old. I went to a primarily white all girls high school, in what was then a white neighborhood. This was 1967 or so. There were no after school activities since the neighborhood was not safe for minorities after school hours. The African American club took its turn being in charge of assembly. We all dressed in traditional African dresses and braided out hair. We danced and cooked and I read I have a dream. I was 13, skinny and wore thick glasses. After school we went to the pizzeria for some fries like we did every day. Two cop cars showed up telling us to disperse. Cop cars. For 13 or 14 year old girls. Fifty years later we are still having the same conversation. Black men are regularly stopped as I am as a mature [50+black woman], I have too often explaining to kiddy cops – when I am going/ coming from/ where I work[ed] and having to come up with id. One suggested that my “sister” who got out of jail was illegally using my identity and stealing cars – as a reason for stopping me. My sister has never driven, nor been in jail, nor would even slightly do anything illegal. We, my immediate and extended family have not been arrested. Ever. And it makes absolutely no difference to NYPD, to white people in power, to academic types to white people I don’t even know yet. And that is the trouble with the Trayon Martin death that some white people seemingly can’t hear. It’s not the skill of the lawyers, the color of the jurors, the justice system; it is much more basic than that. Trayon’s death/Zimmerman’s acquittal seems to follow a set of assumptions. 1. Black teenagers are dangerous, especially at night its ok to shoot them use your judgment 2. Black people of any age should not fight back when unknown white people attack them 3. Using any level of marijuana any point in your life makes you a delinquent especially if you are black 4. White people decide where I as a Black person “belong”-what street, what neighborhood, and you no problem letting me know loudly anywhere 5. If white people say you are guilty you are guilty and that’s the end of it. 6. It there are no white people to vouch for you and you’re black you’re guilty, even if you started out as the victim. Demonstrating presumes that the people watching the demonstrators care. Just like speeches it presumes that “the powers that be” are listening. Many of them are not. We have to equip ourselves, and not quit. Teach ourselves, teach each other the skills we need. And stop procrastinating. I don’t really care if “they” have a problem with people like me. Who look like me or talk like me or whatever. I no longer want to a) hear your opinion of me and people like me b) wish to explain the behavior of any other member of the Black race worldwide or c) interested in your condescending liberalism which makes me feel like I am in some sort of cosmic petting zoo and you are proving your political correctness by having me in your life d) I won’t discuss every so-called “black” issue on your agenda [by which you mean you will tell me what “you people” ought to think e) educate you damn self on the issues in you claim to care about. The information is out there, I guess I will not be allowed to avoid so-called racism anymore.
Posted on: Mon, 15 Jul 2013 05:14:11 +0000
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