I have had a rough time emotionally and psychologically in the past few months; oddly, the month in Europe did not help, perhaps because it brought home that I am alone now. No mother expects to be alone if she has raised her child well, and I did raise her well. Anyway, the only time I am FREE of unwanted thoughts, self badgering, and just plain sorrow is when I am on Heros back. WOW am I learning! My teacher was kind enough to ride with me today on a horse I will most likely never be able to ride (LOL but thats okay) and I learned SO MUCH from this selfless act. What a wonderful woman she is and thank God for her. When I am with Hero and Suzy, even though he sometimes thinks he can get his own way (and thats becoming less and less a possibility for him now LOL), I AM FREE. The only thoughts I have are how to coordinate what my mind is learning, what my body wants to do that I cannot allow if I am to ride correctly, and my beautiful instructor whom I trust with my life (literally). So today, as I drove away, I have to admit to a few tears as I remembered how gifted my April was on her horse and even the next horse, a four year old green horse, that she actually trained. I miss her so much but everywhere I go, and everything I do, I bring her with me. Winter approaches. Today I saw a small murmuration of blackbirds. As you know, for my entire lifetime when I see the birds leaving I shout in my head WAIT FOR ME. Remember that no matter what has happened, no matter how horrible, you can find joy somewhere, somehow, even if for a short time. Yes. You can. youtube/watch?v=QJOED0JW0yc&index=34&list=PLGEklJ_kAvBRJmAgXDt1Ui9KZhOkuGXyF
Posted on: Fri, 07 Nov 2014 21:26:00 +0000
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