I have lost loved ones through out the years to suicide, as so many of us have. I myself have drifted to places that were darker than I could have imagined that Id ever find myself. I struggled through that darkness on more than one occasion.....I wrote this to reflect those times and for those who did not make it out, to see the light once more. Drown : Treading this icy water is wearing on my will. Been out here way too long now and it’s more than just a chill. Set into my bones and coating each vein, gotten used to the numbness, gotten used to the pain. If it’s here all the time then it’s called something else, can’t think of the word, I guess it’s just as well. I thought you would be there, I looked for your hand, I tried to be patient and be as strong as I can. I knew there’d be times that I’d be all alone but I thought you’d show up and help get me home. My mind is too foggy now, drifting away, trying to remember, the other word for pain. Been out here floating, it’s gotten so dark, I’ll just close my eyes a bit, wait for a spark. Something has to happen to turn this around, the surface is fading now, and I’ve gone too far down. I remember fighting it, I was strong like the waves, I never gave up, long ago are those days. It’s colder out here than I thought it would be and the darkness is darker when you’re alone in the sea. I don’t want to give up, I just need to rest, looks like no ones coming, I did do my best. I thought you would be there, I looked for your hand, I tried to be patient and be as strong as I can. I knew there’d be times that I’d be all alone but I thought you’d show up and help get me home. -Amanda J Maanum
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 04:45:59 +0000
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