I have wasted my entire teen years in my room and I dont continue to do so, but because of fear. Im currently almost gonna be 21 in a few days . I fear the outside world, because I think every stranger I walk pass, every stranger who looks at me is thinking negative thoughts about me. I think negative about myself as well, with my stutter, next to no social skills at all. I have friends they just aint really around or there & forgotten most the time by them & its harder as your order having friends or keeping them cuz they know no meaning of it or the effort is a 2 way street not just one & cuz there so busy in there own world so I dont bother calling anymore cuz for what just to be ignored by a phone call every so often evertyime but every time I get a hand slapped to the face in return, not literally. No matter what I do showing how much I love them even family they aint there like they say & care for me & they dont wanna try being in my life its not shown at all & no call nothing so ya thats part of the reason im depressed so I have always hated myself cuz I feel Im not good enough for my family & theses friends who say they care but this song just hits me every time & it has saved me but what Im saying always gets miss understood hard for anyone to understand my hurt & feelings about this. Now my anxiety & depression is not so bad cuz trying my hardest to get past this the people who forget me & forget them in order to have enough courage to even start conversations with my internet friends is for them to try to if I just dont say a word for a while & even people I know in life also family. The only thing that keeps me here is my mom cuz she cares & shows love & its proven & I love my mom to death dont know what I would do without her. 2015 is my year & not gonna let no more bring me back to a point like this & feeling this way cuz of my worthless friends forgetting me & pushing me a side in this world making me feel Im invisible also a lot of family to. Im here & I matter & Im important done trying to prove I matter to the people in my life! This song just hurts me but its gotten me through in my past still trying to heal my life & not feel so alone.
Posted on: Sun, 04 Jan 2015 13:33:06 +0000
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