I havent been able to sleep at night - only to get some sleep like 7 or 8 in the morning. This is not good. As I am typing this post I havent gone to sleep yet. I was wide awake throughout the night. I pray that I will get back into my sleep pattern again. Now you know how I got to have an early breakfast this morning. Ha Ha. You know, I havent been preaching much lately. For the last 4 months or so I had only preached once in FGAC Kulim. I am finding it hard to prime myself to get excited and all motivated to preach like before. I am also running out of stamina, out of steam, and out of energy. Its just not the same anymore without my wife. I thought my life changed when I had to be house bound to care for her. And now that she is no longer here I felt that I truly missed her and missed taking care of her too! While taking care of her I felt tired, distress, and worn out BUT now I missed those times of caring for her - changing her, helping her to bath, feeding her and telling her stories, news, or just praying for her. I missed those nights of holding her hand and embracing her and say that everything is alright. Earlier on I confesses that I missed her when she was well but not so when she was suffering. But I really do missed every part of her life journey - all of the 29 years of being one flesh. But let me qualify: Dont worry about me. I am generally fine and coping well. Every once in a while I missed her and I like to air it out - thats part of the coping skill - to let it go! So sorry about all my ranting here on the FB. God bless!
Posted on: Fri, 10 Oct 2014 23:53:18 +0000
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