I havent been here in a while. When I do a story from my nightmare as a child, the PTSD kicks in and I need a bit of a break. Im back, though. My nick name is Bounceback. I came into this group as a child abuse survivor who is now 56 and productive. I hurt a whole lot, but I dont let that stop me too often. The break down of my biological family is this: Mother was an evil, psychotic being who made me her target. Father a true and blue pedophile and I was his target. Older brother a sociopath. Killed animals, damaged people w his violence. He made my sister, 3 years younger, his target and that included raping her...like father like son. I forgot where I left off before my break, so I hope youre not bored w this story. It left me in full body braces....sociopath Andrew, who I really had nothing to do w, grabbed me and pulled me into his room. Gilda was down the hall. She never got out of bed unless she needed her coffee fix. She talked to herself all the time, smoked at least 5 packs of cigarettes each day. I was the one to go to the store for her back then...Andrew was going off again. I was the only walking around so he was free to do what he wanted w me. I remember his room has a grey floor and a bunch of garbage all over the place. Im a neat freak, so already I was uncomfortable in there. Andrew opened his window, 2 stories up, a cape cod house. I didnt talk back then. He took hold of me by my arms and started dragging me to the window. He told me he was throwing me out of it. He wanted to see what would happen. My pitiful fight ended. I remember hanging on outside the window to the metal frame we had way back then. I could almost see myself crying, sort of like an outer body experience. I couldnt hold on, the metal was hurting my hands. I let go and down I went. It was a very fast fall. I landed on my back on a scalloped brick that you would find in a garden. I was winded and couldnt say anything. Stupid came down and got scared, so he went and got Gilda the witch. She came outside from the back of the house. I remember thinking I didnt know she was that tall or could actually walk fast. I was busy watching a the blue sky above me and a white cloud. It was pretty. The next thing I know Gilda picked me up, brought me into the house, threw me on the kitchen floor and began to beat me w her fists right on my back. She did that often. When her rage attack was done, she told me to go down and fold the laundry. My Aunt told me I was 4 yrs old. I was never taken to a doctor. I hurt like I never imagined. I was broken. When I got married and was able to see doctors, we found much damage to my back. My entire rib cage was shifted. I had herniated discs and my clavicle was broken. I was a mess and too far along to fix. The picture Im bringing up is how I live. At 56 and lots of therapy, I have a sense of humor. My husband and son help me through w their antics.....I came downstairs one day to find this...
Posted on: Wed, 27 Aug 2014 12:25:43 +0000
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