I just cant get past the fact that things in my life have always been unfair. I cant sleep because vengeful thoughts cloud my mind, I ask God to take them away but they come stronger and stronger every time. To know that a person can treat you like trash for years and not be reprimanded for them is killing me. I cant understand why Im always the one whos character is attacked, I often wonder is it because I was homeless, is it because I didnt amount to anything? Seems as long as I can remember people have been out to hurt me, ruin my name, Ive been the butt of peoples jokes, I took it all but all Ive been was a friend. People laugh at me in front of my face, talk about me behind my back and I never understood what I did to people to deserve it. All I ever wanted was to live a happy life, I played for churches who have taken advantage of me, hurt me to the fullest, but in the end Im supposed to be satisfied with hearing that my gifts are stored up in heaven. Im not going to lie, my faith is truly diminished. My life is nothing but disappointment after disappointment and guess what no one cares. I did all I could to support my family, I gave up my last every time and hardly ever got anything in return. I had to beg to feel loved from the one I wanted it most from. I took a lot of stuff from people and I still do, I had one person in my life who loved me for me, who didnt see me as a joke, who looked up to me and respected me for who I was and that was my daughter. I love her with everything that is within me and I will never ever give up on her. Are you happy now, did you get what you wanted, revenge right? To see me suffer? Well... Congratulations! You caused me to lose everything even my kids. I feel the same love youve been giving me down through the years, same ole same ole, nothings changed and you wonder why Im glad I left!
Posted on: Sun, 16 Mar 2014 07:46:29 +0000
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