I just finished Destructive Release edits and getting ready to send it to my editor. Tonight would never have been possible if it werent for a special person: Tbird London. Ill never be able to repay you for your persistence and pushiness (that I needed) the last few days!!!! Since Im in the giving mood, how about I share the Prologue? Remember... Its unedited... And... ................. ............................. Okay fine Ive paused enough. Here you go: PROLOGUE A shiver erupts from the onset of cold air and it thankfully brings me back to the present where I quickly reach for the oversized warm towel. Stepping out of the shower, I squeeze the moisture wicking material closer; all the while, my body adjusts to the change in temperature. A fleeting glance of myself in the mirror halts any future movements. Although saddened by what happened, as a result, of Caine, I cannot help but stare at my reflection as uncertainty overtakes me at this moment. The person glaring back appears drained of some of the life she once held. The pranks, the dancing, and the laughter she shared with her best friend. She is gone. Has the person in the mirror grown up? On the other hand, could she have withered away? Eyes slowly roam the figure before me. I am certainly very different from the naive teenager who failed miserably at escaping her past in nightclubs. What happened to her? The combination of desire and impulsive behavior significantly changed the course of my life. I will never regret Evan. He has helped me see life in a completely new brightness. He blesses me with his pitter-patter and incessant talk of this and that. I love watching him as he plays, inspecting each piece, discovering how things are indeed working. There is no telling what could happen if he got his hands on a few tools. I am sure most of the furniture would be in disarray-disassembled in no time. The refraction of light glimmers and it pulls my attention to the blue diamond sitting on my left hand. It beautifully matches the eyes of the last man I will ever love. My gaze falters as my fingers gloss over the bump that has grown. Yes, I have so much to be grateful and thankful. Softly singing the words of Hallelujah in harmony with the song playing in the background, I step into the simple black knee length dress Becca helped me choose. ... And it pleased the Lord... I settle on simple black ballerina slippers so I can keep up with Evan. Blindly, I reach for the beautiful silver eternity bracelet Devon gifted me. Placing it on my wrist, I reminisce the afternoon he surprised me with it. The water lapped the shore while we watched boats glide as they navigated the coastline. The large rocks where we laid a blanket and picnicked was glorious on its own. The shock of finding a bow adorning the box quickened my breath. What I found on the inside of the square container held nothing to my previously harmonious thoughts. An eternity sign with equal chain links on each side exalted any flickering thoughts of the intimidating man back at the house. Devons blue eyes sparkled so brightly they matched the open sky. The breeze bonded us in a swirl. The three of us were all that mattered. I am eternally grateful to have you and Evan in my life, his words warmed my heart and admiration grew stronger for the humble man, my husband. Clasping the bracelet, I observe my mirrored image once more. Gloss fills my eyes as if floodwaters threaten to unleash. The magnitude of all that has transpired fuses to my memory. This irreplaceable piece of metal is something I will always cherish. Hallelujah... Hallelujah... “Mommee,” Evan cries scurrying into my room, ripping off a hideous clip on tie. “What is it Sweet Pea?” I ask, squatting to his level. Little sad eyes liquefy. Wiping his tears, I try to calm his trembles. “Aw Beta,” he points. Chuckling at the name, he has given Becca; I watch her semi-amused form in the doorway that frames the Venetian Plastered bedroom walls. With a hand on her hip, she is hard-pressed to appear irritated Evan came running to me. I smile back at her failed attempt. The earth toned walls and old world style of the room compliment her dark, almost black hair in perfect curls. Stunning, she looks as if she just stepped off the runway. Evan quickly hides his face from the world, mainly Becca, in the crook of my neck while the tie takes up residence on the spacious dark wood-planked floor. “Sweet Pea, you don’t need to wear the tie, but you will look so handsome.” The doorbell rings and Becca turns on her heels to answer. “Evan look at Mommy,” I ask trying to steady him back on his feet. Smoothing out his light blue button up shirt, I admire just how beautiful my little man is. The shirt makes his eyes shine brighter. Becca did a great job dressing him. Well... Then there is a tie situation. “Tonight is a big night and Mommy needs you to be a big boy. Can you do that for me?” I gaze into his beautiful blue tear-filled eyes. He nods sniffing. “If you don’t want to wear this,” I walk over to retrieve the tie, “You don’t have to, but I bet all the other big boys will be wearing their ties.” I try to explain, but then he hears the voice that makes his eyes brighten as if his favorite train character has come to life. Grabbing the tie out of my hand, Evan leaves as quickly as he came in. His little voice shouting, “Ran, Ran, Ran,” elicits a happy smile to my face. He loves his Uncle Ryan, who fortunately has been around a lot lately. With Evan’s attention quickly diverted, I slowly stand with my attention gravitating towards the floor length mirror. Hands smooth any stray wrinkles trailing the fabric of my dress gently running over the little bulge that has arisen. My heart warms knowing Devon is with me always. A small piece of him runs through my veins. His strength and love will shine on in our baby. I pray he or she will hold his beautiful piercing blue eyes. Looking into the reflected stare, I take a chance to peer into the distant soul. How can a heart be so heavy and full of sadness when there is so much to be grateful for? When God has been so gracious in his blessings? I wish I could forget so much of the pain and just be happy. It is just so difficult to move forward, knowing all that has transpired. Worrisome occupies my thoughts too often lately. I am frightened to lose more, to make the wrong choice, or create more pain for the ones I love.
Posted on: Fri, 27 Jun 2014 03:57:50 +0000
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