I just want to give people a insight into my and other victims mind set . I suffer from PTSD or better know as SERVIORS GILT . What is that you may ask ? After Alan died I hated the fact that i was alive . I hated everything and every body . All I had inside me for so long was hate , hate and more hate . It eats you up so much so that you became same thing your not . You are like fire and ice all at the same time but you are fighting the person you really are as well . The is a war within you between the person you really are and the person you become over what has happen . You want to kill but hate killers , you want to fight but hate fighting , you want to scream but hate yelling , you want to live but hate living . Most do not want to talk about it but when they do they full apart or brake into triers . PTSD is mostly found in ex service men after returning from war . The war victims have is the war within and it is the same with the ex service men . You feel guilty but have done nothing wrong and hold your self responsible for what happen . The gilt you feel can move over to other thing in your life and when people blame you for things you have no done you still feel gilt . This is just same of what happens after the the families of the ones murdered . There is a lot more but I feel this will give you all same insight . Thanks for reading this till the end and feel free to comment . John C Barnes
Posted on: Tue, 18 Nov 2014 06:26:41 +0000
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