I keep searching for answers (and keep in mind that I have no common sense). I get so tired of making the same mistakes.I dwell on and pick apart everything to avoid the seemingly constant insanity. I do this to the point that trying to avoid insanity becomes being insane. I do have a point stay with me lol. Ive been trying to figure out why I do so horribly (on a personal level) while Im married. There are multiple reasons and issues that revolve around a central point. I ALWAYS PUT MYSELF LAST. That statement in of itself seems harmless enough. However its only after you factor in chronic depression, addiction, and hosts of other issues that the beastly portrait appears. In other words worrying about myself and my issues last atop the stresses in a marriage is the last thing I should not be doing. Its a wonder I havent murdered anyone yet. So its not really marriage itself that is the problem. Its the way I go about treating myself while married that leads to all of my personal issues. However it is a ton easier to take care/put yourself first if it is only you that you have to deal with. Long story short Im sick of being insane (doing the same thing over and over expecting different results) and I need to learn how to treat myself/put myself first always!
Posted on: Tue, 06 Jan 2015 15:17:36 +0000
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