I know I am posting a lot. But I dont care, okay? I am a horrible texter, a horrible message-backer, & I have always disliked talking on the phone for the most part. I am a good conversationalist when I have to be, but I write. I communicate through words & art. It is in my blood, it is who I am. But in case it isnt clear - I am shattered. I have never in my life been so broken. & for those that know me, I have seen my own hell, I have lived in my own hell. We all have. I am still very much in shock. I cant speak right. I cant even think in a half way functional manner. Unless Im writing. I have my art journals. & I am using them. But when I check my phone, I see him. That tears me apart. I feel as if the other half of my soul has been ripped out of me. He filled that void when he found me, & when he left, an even bigger void appeared. So you know what, let me grieve. Im annoying, sure, I get that & Im sorry. To everyone who has shown support, prayed, called, & been there. It means more than I can express. I feel all the genuine love from you. Truly, & I appreciate it more than you can even comprehend. This is the worst thing I have ever felt in my life. It may seem dramatic to you, however this is TRAUMATIC for all of us, his family, his friends, & for me. My heart has been annihilated. 💔
Posted on: Sun, 27 Jul 2014 07:30:11 +0000
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