I know its been a long time, and many of you didnt even know me back then (facebook didnt exist back then!)... But I want to encourage some perspective regarding my situation. I dont (no woman does) NEED to explain or defend myself and this c section, but Im lucky enough to have history to prove what Im saying here. I hate epidurals. I hate surgery, this includes cesarean sections. I discourage elective induction and c-sections. Growing a baby is a blessing, a miracle, and they bake as long as they do for a reason. That being said, there are many factors involved that can motivate a mother or doctor to induce labor or deliver via c-section... Varying in need from convenience of date or moms life in danger. You have NO IDEA the mourning I went through after my first c section with baby #4, and the mourning of a potential vaginal delivery with #5 and now our last, #6. I had Patrick 8 days late without an epidural, induced. I had Stephen 3 days late, naturally, without epidural. I had William 4 weeks early due to severe pre-eclampsia, on magnesium, without epidural. I went into labor with sariah, who turned transverse breech during labor. On my first epidural, 3 doctors successfully turned her and broke my water to keep her in place. I requested they allow the epidural to wear off because I wanted to labor without it. She turned again! I BEGGED, for them to try turning her again. Despite the risk, they tried, unsuccessfully. In surgery, they couldnt get her out like the typical c-section and had to make a 2nd incision, making it appear as an inverted T. That was heartbreaking. I STILL tried researching and Figuring out a safe way for a VBAC, but the stats for rupture with that incision are scary. I went into labor 6 weeks early with Julia following nightly contractions over the period of several weeks. Only Matthew can serve as a witness to the terror when I realized our baby was coming that early. I HATE having a baby in the NICU. My body is done having children, this is our last. It took a lot of research, prayer and self-talks to get to where I am. I am GRATEFUL baby made it this far, and for me to aim for 40 weeks is both unrealistic and (for this baby) selfish, due to the fact almost ALL serious ruptures lead to brain damage or death for baby. You see me looking forward to week 37 with excitement, but you dont comprehend the fear Ive had carrying this baby, the gratitude and hope for a girl thats ready to breathe on her own. You dont know Im terrified of the anesthesia, surgery, her well-being and my recovery. Feel free to privately ask a woman about the decisions shes making regarding the birth of her baby to satisfy your own curiosity... But I suggest you fight the urge to judge her, especially since her journey is none of your business and chances are she DOES agree with you anyway. :)
Posted on: Sat, 27 Dec 2014 01:05:58 +0000
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