I know people say Facebook is no place for personal business, but - TopicsExpress

I know people say Facebook is no place for personal business, but I think this something Ive needed to do for a long time. As most of you know I work on ambulance for a career. These last 8 years of carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, and struggling with the nightmares and demons that come with it have taken a big toll on my life. Ive done so many thing to hurt people who care about me from friends to family due to me not wanting to face my own demons. They are certain people who will be able to relate to this post. It may make me a less of a man in a lot of peoples eyes, but I promise you wouldnt last a day in my world. I have seen things that 80% of you could not even dream of in your wildest dreams. I have seen life at its best and its worst. I have been there to see life enter this world, and have been there to see someone say their last words and not be able to a damn thing about it. There is no words to explain the things that I have done or seen. People say EMS is a easy profession. Let me be the first to say its not. Its not easy at 2:00 in the morning when you are laying in your bed and you see that innocent child that despite your best efforts there was nothing you could to save him. Its not easy when the smell of a fire almost brings you to your knees because all you can do is think of all of the burned bodies you have seen. There is nothing easy when you know relationships and marriages have felled because you cant find the strength to fight those demons and you let them control you. I know this is a life I have chosen. This is something I can hide no longer. I have kept this inside of me for years, and I am no longer strong enough to hide it. You can take this however you want, but I promise that I am a bigger and stronger person than most people could ever be. So please dont judge me and criticize me, instead just try to understand and know that the people who put everything on the line when they go to work are human to.

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