I know this is supposed to be my positive page but, I am super mad this morning! I got rid of my ovaries and defeated the cancer. Then I find out that, MY OWN BODY, tricked me and decided to make me start another stupid race with a new Breast Cancer??!!!???!!! What the heck man. I know I am a winner. I win all the time. I have been this way since I was a kid. Second place made me mad. I was at my best and proved to myself that winning has the most rewards. So here I am again, in a race. Now, I feel like this is going to be the toughest race of my life. Have I mentioned to God, why or what the heck or do you have to let all this happen so much? Yes, yes I have. I woke up mad and all I can think about is riding my bike so fast that cancer cant keep up with me. All I want to do is scream. All I want to do is buy a vegetable noodle maker. I am so mad that if I could I would reach into my chest pull the mass out, throw it in the garbage disposal, wave good bye, sew myself up and go shopping. I am so mad that I burnt my breakfast this morning. I honestly do not believe I have ever been this angry at any object ever in my life. But, that is me. When I see a finish line, I get angry and pound the ground until I win. I do not care who steps in my way, I will leap over you. I do not care if I have hurt someones feelings because feelings and emotion means your living. Yes, I will make the right choices, guessing what I believe God wants from me. Just do not try to stop me, do not step in the way, let me move, let me be angry, let me exercise to muscle failure. EXCUSE THE ALL CAPS! DO NOT ASK ME IF I AM ALRIGHT. BECAUSE I AM NOT. BUT, I AM LETTING GODS WILL TAKE OVER AND I WILL BE WELL. DO NOT LOOK AT ME FROM ACROSS THE ROOM WITH SAD EYES BECAUSE THAT IS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AND IT MAKES ME FEEL SORRY FOR YOU BECAUSE IT IS YOU WITH LITTLE FAITH. With all that being said, I love all of you and I know who is praying for me, so keep doing it because I will keep kicking cancer in the butt with the faith of faithful prayers.
Posted on: Thu, 30 Oct 2014 13:06:40 +0000
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