I learned something about myself tonight. I learned that when apologizing for something, explaining why you said or did what you did has no value, and is contrary to the act of making an apology. Everything I was taught about apologies was wrong. My dad used to tell me if you feel that you owe someone an apology, you should say that youre sorry, that its important to explain to the person why you did what you did, and why you realize that it was wrong. In doing so, the other person is supposed to becomes cognizant that you understand what that you hurt them and therefore arent likely to do that again. This was reinforced by my schooling, where when I took someones crayon without asking, the children were told that the way i apologized was how they should apologize to others. Ive gone through my whole life apologizing when Ive felt the sincere need to - by telling the person i was sorry, and explaining why i did what i did and why i realize that it was wrong. This was apparently the wrong way to go about it. The information I was working with my whole life, had one part of the apology wrong. The 2nd part of an apology is not explaining why you did what you did, but accepting responsibility for it - without an excuse/explanation. As almost everyone whos ever apologized to me has done it the same way, I thought that I would share what construes a healthy apology: psychologytoday/articles/200208/the-power-apology
Posted on: Tue, 14 Oct 2014 06:12:00 +0000
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