I, like all of my fellow Hoyas, love SNAPS. I know my off-campus experience wouldn’t be complete without strangers with no legal authority preventing me from getting in trouble by getting me in trouble. Their logic is as flawless as their watchful eye is fair and unbiased. I was very hurt the other day when I overheard a fellow student call SNAPS a preposterous waste of university money (they’re paid $30 an hour, fun fact!) that consists of flashlight-wielding, over-compensating non-cops aggressively and unfairly ruining the student experience. Nothing could be further from the truth: SNAPS rarely has to use flashlights due to the excellent street lighting in Georgetown. To help this student, and all student who somehow aren’t thrilled that the university is deliberately getting more students in trouble with harsher sanctions to make the neighborhood happy, I’m proposing a bold new initiative to add to Bears+, the SNAPS Student and University Conduct-Keeping Supervisors! SNAPS SUCKS would bring hundreds of university-paid Conduct-Keepers on campus to watch students’ every move and help correct inappropriate behavior in the proportional manor SNAPS is known for. For example, under SNAPS SUCKS, if a student accidentally threw out a can instead of recycling it (classic!) a SNAPS SUCKS Conduct-Keeper could serve the student with a one-semester suspension. Or, if a student is walking on the grass, a SNAPS SUCKS representative could tackle the student to instill a sense of respect for nature. The possibilities are endless! Tell the Office of Neighborhood Life SNAPS SUCKS! Tell President DeGioia SNAPS SUCKS! If we work together to expand the SNAPS program, soon everyone will be saying SNAPS SUCKS!
Posted on: Wed, 01 Oct 2014 03:46:01 +0000
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