I love how Im in an I dont know kind of mood. I know its Sunday, but its getting close to Christmas time and Im grateful for all of my family and friends, including my boyfriend Jacob! But this is the first Christmas without my dad and its killing me. First my birthday, then Thanksgiving and now Christmas. I know he is at peace and gets to spend Christmas with Jesus, God and the rest of our family up there. Im happy for you dad, but I wish you were here with me, to see how well im doing, to hear your voice again, your hugs and kisses, but its ok, because i know you can see and hear me. I know Ill see you when its my time to enter the Kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and God! Dad, Im glad you went peacefully and that you are out of harms way, and that you died sober like you always wanted. I am so grateful that I got to spend time with you for all of those years, and was able to experience the sober you when i was little. Ill always remember that about you, even when we fought a lot. You always said, I miss the sober me too, and you will have your sober dad back again, I promise! You kept your promise and you were really striving for it this time around. You were so committed and didnt want to let me down, and you didnt. You made me proud and Im so proud of you for continuing to fight all of those years. I was always proud of you no matter what, and I knew you said the same thing to me! I knew you would die sober because for 4 years, God put something on my heart that I never told you. The reason I didnt want to talk on the phone much and kept fighting with you, and only wanted to text more, because I kept asking myself every day, What happens when dad dies? How am I going to keep myself stable and keep my head up, and to hold my family up as well to get through it. I knew God was preparing me for something but didnt know what. I was talking to gram Ginny Bok-Burr about it the other day, and she said, God was preparing you for something, and this happened to be it. I wish it hadnt and sometimes I feel like I jinxed it in a way, but I didnt. It already has been almost 5 months you have been gone, and I cant believe time went by that fast. So much has happened between then and now, and all I ever asked God for was to have both of my parents sober before I die, or before they die. I always pictured you dad, in a nursing home that I put you in, riding in a wheel chair really fast down the hallways, and screaming, Wooohoo!! That always made me smile and laugh. Now I dont have to put you in a nuring home lol. First, mom got sober like 5 or 6 years ago and I am proud of her, and then you got sober dad, officially!! I got my wish and now I can live peacefully knowing that I have the 2 greatest parents in the whole world and nothing could ever change that! One day dad,we will be together for Christmas again, and that will be the truly happiest moment of my life, to finally see you again! Until then, Rest in Peace and tell everyone I said hello up there, and to stop meesing with my things and electronics please! Thank you! Love you all and dont forget to say your prayers!
Posted on: Sun, 21 Dec 2014 21:43:05 +0000
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