I made a promise a couple years ago that I would, going forward, only use the word Ugly as a verb. Hey, I have a pretty thick skin and I heard them all when I was 300 then 400 pounds. People were very free with their opinions and critiques and frankly it didnt really occupy much of my time. Of course, I was fortunate enough, for reasons other than vanity to be able to lose a whole bunch of weight and keep it off (well 90% anyway) going on three years. There are people who have conditions or are of an appearance thay have ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OVER. I have read their stories, seen how theyve been ridiculed, riviled, exiled, humiliated by mostly cowardly, anonymous types on social media. And so it came to pass that I decided to go forth and be very careful how I apply the U word in my daily writing and conversation. I live in L.A. where appearance is king and looks are queen. Im constantly looking in the mirror and shrugging my shoulders, especially when Im about to meet up with a lady. Itsan almost comically excrutiating exercise in self judgement, but even to myself, alone, out of earshot of another human being, it doesnt cross my mind to utter that word. Ugly is, cruelty, ignorance, bullying, excluding, intimidating, humiliating, its not cheekbones or arm fat or nose or teeth or chin. Ive grown weary of the bombardment of critiques of how people look. On his death bed, my own father didnt hesitate to stick me in the ribs about how goddamned fat I was, but that didnt bother me. What did and still does was a kind of appearance cancer that I didnt realize was implanted in my as a young child. Whenever he spoke of my cousins or someones kids or any number of people, I never once in forty years heard any praise regarding their character, intelligence, thoughtfulness; it was always, ..thats a good looking boy, or ....shes a heartbreaker, everything, all the time for decades, all those lofty assesments of young persons he held in esteem were totally in connection with how pretty or handsome he thought they were. So anyway, if youre at party and youve had a few and youre gossiping about someone in our circle or out of it or on tv or the movies and you start going on about What a fat slob shes become, or He has the ugliest nose in town, please allow me to excuse myself and find somene, anyone else to talk to, hopefully not about what dicks those jerks by the punch bowl are, either, because I cant be bothered to give a damn. Ugly = Verb. IF you catch me using it otherwise, feel free to call my ass out. -n.s.
Posted on: Wed, 30 Jul 2014 23:42:11 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015