I may have been one of the most resistant of all support Group People in this local to take any kind of antidepressant medication. Having ran in circles that may have seen a need to make everything hyper spiritual - because yes, I believe there is a spiritual component or element to all mental illnesss and all the various forms of insanity - I too had succumbed to the questionable notion that a spiritual cure was the only viable one. Dont take pills unless absolutely necessary if you really want to be free. I have reconsidered my position - but not without some difficulty. And, I had heard all the terrible horror stories and have seen many I love get on that medical Merry-Go-Round, seeing one Doctor after another, trying one different pill after another, seeming to take frustrating and agonizing years to find just the right dose of just the right pill. I was very reluctant to get on that carousal and never get off. But then, I took some good advice and tried it out. I asked for the smallest possible dosage one could be given and yet have a positive effect. I found one and for months I was feeling great - even in the midst of dire circumstances. I believe I was feeling much like normal people do. One of the best side effects (benefits) for me is that i no longer desired to change my mood artificially.* But then, my Doctor strongly suggested, just a few weeks ago that I double my dose. Standard procedure he said with this particular type. Within days, I wasnt feeling good again - I wasnt feeling good at all. I didnt like my thoughts and I was tending to isolate. This finally culminated into complete mental exhaustion where I didnt even want to get out of bed to face the world. I could see nothing out there that had any appeal.Just seeing daylight approaching in the morning frightened me. I had become just like some highly disturbed people I had previously only read about.I was not happy. And I knew where this soon would lead. And you know, I cant speak for everyone, but when I get like this, I dont even want to talk to anyone. Everyone else seems to be just fine and I am so ashamed that i am not. Who in the hell would want to share these despairing feelings with anybody? Many dont understand and some who think they do come at you with a relentless barrage of hopefully harmless pop psychology platitudes. Sometimes, advice given can actually be dangerous. I here you are in a very vulnerable condition highly susceptible to suggestion. A precarious place to be. I insisted that my Doctor reduce my dose to its former quantity that had been proving to be quite effective and more than adequate. He reluctantly complied saying that such a low dose might as well be a placebo for all its anticipated effectiveness. It works. I am feeling much better again. Thank God and assertiveness training. *By self medicating. I dont self medicate very well.
Posted on: Sat, 07 Jun 2014 14:23:20 +0000
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