I need help. I dont know what to do. Just a friend. Family. Anybody. I dont know where to go from here. Apparently, the relationship I have been sacrificing for and working for is over. Apparently it has been over. Apparently he was just pretending to make it work, but he hasnt loved me in months. Nothing I thought was true was actually true. Days ago I tried to talk to him about us making time for one another. Our schedules are opposite and we never see each other. I get 3 hours of sleep a night and I work 5 days a week. I am stressed constantly but I still try. I thought we were on the same page and going to make an effort but now says he hasnt loved me since we had the baby. And I should hate him. He says Sorry Im an asshole. Youre sorry? Im devastated. He told me he only got with me to start because he thought it would be good for him to have responsibility. He was hoping to gain some stability by acquiring my life with the kids and now that he has used us up, hes done. we are trash to him. Funny how things were great for the months he was sober. But now that hes been getting blackout drunk every weekend again, apparently he just wants freedom now. I sacrificed my time, my money, my car, my life, my attention and effort for a future for my family. Only it was all a lie. He was never in it for real. Nothing he told me was true. And yep Im that girl right now. Airing out my laundry. But tell me what to do now please. How to put one foot in front of the other when your whole world is spinning out of control and your life is upside down. I should hate him for leaving us in the lurch and using me for my car and other amenities. But I cant tell my heart to flip the switch. I feel bad for the kids who have been showering him with love all day, despite his lack of interest in any of them. Squeeze your lovies. Embrace your family, you partners, your friends. I have three amazing beautiful babies. For that I am glad. Other shit is really, really hard right now and I will be ok, but I need to vent and I need support because right now I know we will all be okay, I just dont know how.
Posted on: Sun, 13 Jul 2014 17:00:31 +0000
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