I remember sleeping behind a school, walking up & down the tracks, my calves burning, spun-out to the max w a pocket full of dope & talkin to myself. I didnt sleep unless my body shut down. I was hearing voices. Crying out to God from the inside but not really talking to Him. No one was around. I isolated myself yet I felt abandoned. At the same time I owned responsibility for the doors all being shut. How did I really get here? I used to be somebody. Or at least I thought I was. I had money, respect, connections to whatever and a name. It was all gone. It died with my old man crucified with Christ. But I was seeking to resurrect that old man. But nothing was the same anymore. I was now a dope fiend. Homies were gone. Dead, locked up, or clueless how to help me. Most had their own junk or had moved on without me. Family was at their wits end. My girlfriend steered clear & must have thought I was demon possessed or just snapped. Everyone had turned their back on me even my mother. So I thought. I never felt so alone. But she prayed for me as did others. Ill never forget the day I decided that it was time to really start giving the idols to the Lord to be smashed. I was close to death. I almost gave up but knew I wanted to live. The word of God was still in me. I had wandered from Him. All I knew is it was time to stop getting high, pray my heart out, & bust out my old Bible. So I did. Ive never been the same. Only by His mercy today I live & am a family man and in ministry. By Gods grace Im never going back. Not to any of it. But I will stomp on enemy territory to snatch others out of the fire in Jesus name. If you need hope today, call upon the name of Jesus. I waited patiently for the lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the lord. -Psalm 40:1-3 NLT #refugerecovery
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 04:45:07 +0000
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