I saw a glimpse of my demons like eminem saw in this video. Now if you dont wanna believe me fine, but under the right lighting I can see demons in peoples face. Really some people I see demons and some I dont under the right lighting. I feel I have many many days ahead of me. I am gonna face the guy who used to blow up mad cars and I briefly chilled with. Does he wanna talk to me unsure? I will make an attempt to reach out to him. I pretty much always knew when to pull out from hanging out with friends, but the only two times I can think of was once when coke was around every time I chilled with a certain group. There was talk about guns I stilled stayed. Blowing lines right in front of me everyday. One time a female set a line for me. My time to pull out was when I pulled out to the house and my system was bumping. I get out of the car and there was a mob of people as I got out. As mad people were grilling me. Finally my buddy yells out my name. The dirty looks diminished. Long story short. I was talking to someone I knew at that house. Asked him straight up what happened here? Thats all I remember from that night after that. I still talk to my buddy from that house, but havent talked to him in a while. Yea my demons are gone just still people from my past I have to face. Well all is I can think of as that really misguided man I met. Quitting smoking is easy you either quit when your ready or realize how bad it is and how it is not only affecting your health but for me more importantly how much my family wants me to quit, sure my friends do to, and also I feel I shouldnt been spending anymore money on cigs. Looking back with heathers and my time together. She said quit for me. The way she said it was the coolest way anyone has ever told me to quit. Yes at that time my only reason to quit was because of her and its all good now, but I wish heather spent some more time with me. I had no desire to smoke when I was around her. Well I got more reasons to quit now, but am doing it for her. Hope she can respect that I am only quitting by thinking about her. Not thinking about her and being with her. I have really not been drinking over like the past ten years. I am being for real right now. The best way I can get back on my feet is to drink more!! I will drink more soon. I got a few packs of cigs left, but when these packs are gone I am done with cigs for good. That is a commitment I am gonna stick to.
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 23:13:21 +0000
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