I saw him… A strange warmth filled my entire soul, and all I could think of was “I know him” and I wondered how! I asked my friend Anna who brought me to this party “Do you know that guy?” and pointed at him. “Yes, it’s Amit, he’s a good friend of mine, he’s very nice!” she said. I looked at him and with a serious voice I told her “That’s my husband” and I was not joking. My story is one of those that you hear but are hard to believe. It sounds strange and if it did not happen to me, I would think it’s surreal! Amit, tall, dark, handsome, with gentle eyes, was moving towards me… well, not to talk to me, but of course to get some food, since I decided to sit right in front of the buffet for convenience! My love for food started way earlier than my love for cooking! As he approached, I smiled at him. He smiled back. We talked about the food (of course!!!) and he asked if I wanted to check out the pool since a lot of the people were swimming. As we were walking through the garden, I stumbled on a branch; he simply said, “Hold my hand”. I have been holding his hand since then… it has been 11 years now. Growing up, the idea of being married horrified me. I am a free spirit girl who gets bored very quickly… and I mean “very” quickly! I need “new”, “challenge”, “movement” for me to be happy. The thought of being with “the same” (!!!!) person for a lifetime just sounded impossible. This was until I met Amit… 11 years now, seem like a few days and I would need more than a lifetime to be with him. Our relationship is not always a breeze. Amit and I differ on many things: He’s Indian, I am Moroccan, he’s tall, I am short, he’s an introvert, I am an extrovert, he’s patient, I am crazy! But there are 3 things that we completely agree on: love, trust, and respect. We love each other -- that’s undeniable -- but more importantly, we LIKE each other. Of course, we have our moments, where we cannot stand being in the same room and I imagine multiple scenarios in my mind where I am torturing him using all the techniques I watched in bloody scary movies I watch! But when I feel happy or sad, the first person I want to talk to is Amit. I like hanging out with him, we actually have fun together! And that’s so important to keep love alive… “having fun” in my mind is even more important that just “love”! When it comes to trust, I do not even know how relationships with shaky trust survive. Trust is a fundamental element that cannot be compromised. Finally, I believe that Respect, the third element, is as important as Love. People change. We cannot expect the person we met 10 years ago to be the same! Hopes, dreams, aspirations change and that’s where respect comes into play. Respecting the growth of the other person, understanding what he/she wants without necessarily agreeing, supporting him/her in fulfilling a dreams, is the breath that keeps 2 people together for a long time. I see a relationship as 2 parallel roads, curving from left to right, in a synchronous movement – giving and receiving in a comparable way. I do not believe in fusion…. Fusion is usually one person melting into the other; which means, one person had to stop existing! When you love, trust, and respect a person then you are willing to “compromise”– you are willing to give up a little bit of your dream to support theirs knowing that they will do the same for you next time. In my mind that’s what brings balance, allowing both people to grow but still hold on to each other. Amit, thank you for giving me your hand in the garden… In return, I gave you my hand in marriage ☺ I hope we will keep holding each other’s hands forever. Jan 19 - Happy 8th anniversary!
Posted on: Sat, 18 Jan 2014 15:54:18 +0000
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