I spent the morning lying in bed. But the lies were so bad, I didn’t believe them myself, even as I was saying them. So I just watched the ceiling for a while. But not the ceiling, really. Just the shadow that began the day in the corner. For a while it seemed harmless enough, just sitting there by itself, not making any noise. But slowly it started to grow. Bigger and bigger. Taking on a more sinister, dangerous shape. And, ever so slowly, hoping not to be noticed, it began creeping toward me. “Forget you!” I yelled, and, clutching my ‘Freddie the Diabetic’ Pez dispenser to my chest, I ran through the door, hitting the back wall of my closet, then staggered back to my room, and ran through the other door to freedom. I didn’t stop til I was 3 miles from home, confused, and totally lost. I was downtown, but nothing looked familiar to me. I looked to Freddie the Diabetic for ideas. Hmmm. He was right. It was a nice day. I had time to kill. This would, in fact, be a great time to play dress up. I didn’t have to walk far to find a clothing store, and soon I was inside, sitting on a bench, surrounded by opportunity. Almost immediately, a young lady walked down the aisle towards me, stopping to check an item here or a price tag there as she approached. She paid me no mind as she passed, and I reached out and pulled her dress up above her waist. “One dress up!” I called out. She knocked my hand away, shot me a look, and stormed off. “That was a good dress up,” I told Freddie. I bet it didn’t take two minutes before there was a loud ‘SLAP!’ and I was calling out, “Two dresses up!” Freddie beamed and I felt, oh, so proud. Then I saw a redhead emerge from the racks of colorful tops and start slowly in my direction. I turned to Freddie to see what he thought, but he looked nervous and couldn’t speak. He motioned to his throat, so I layed him on his back, pulled his head back as far as I could, and out popped a candy that must have totally block his windpipe. He looked a little relieved, but just barely. And as I tossed the candy in my mouth and began to chew it, and as a hand roughly grabbed my shoulder, he croaked “Security!”
Posted on: Fri, 07 Jun 2013 00:20:05 +0000
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