I think Im finally ready to share this with the world... On May 4th 2011 we went to Silver Dollar City. We had an amazing time and really enjoyed ourselves. You showed me the wonders that is this cream soda and the variation of their root beer. I brought one of the cream sodas home with me and decided to save it for a special occasion... May 7th we went to prom and I had the most magical night Ive ever experienced in all my days. We were definitely one of the best looking couples there an I loved every second we spent at that prom. :) we came home and watched Soul Eater up to the third episode and you so desperately wanted us to cosplay Soul and Maka. I couldnt wait. It was around 2 am when you decided to leave and I kept begging you to spend the night and you would only grin an say we have so many more nights for anime slumber parties so no worries M... (He was calling me M because Maka and Soul were going to be our new thing) Ive gotta go because I want as much time with mom as I can get tomorrow...well technically today and he just laughed and gave me his classic smile. I wanted to tell him I loved him in that moment but I was too scared because Id never said anything like that to anybody before... I was so scared and nervous that all I did was smile and give him a hug and watched him drive away from my house. This is the last memory I have of my golden boy... I didnt really text him much the next day. I let him be with Mom and I hung out with mine in return. I watched some more of Soul Eater and he told me cool. He was hanging out with some of his friends and so I didnt really expect too many answers so I let him be. I was watching Glee with my mom when we got the phone call... I answered the phone but his mom wouldnt talk to me so I handed it to my mom. The next thing that happened destroyed me. My mom sat up quickly and kept saying oh my God Im so sorry... What can we do? And she was crying. When the phone call ended she grabbed me up an held me close and said my poor baby Im so sorry. I cant even, Im so sorry and she told me what had happened. I was numb... I couldnt move... I couldnt breathe... I just stood there and walked out of the bedroom and into the Indian room. And thats when I cried. I told her to call all the people I felt were important to us an needed to know because I couldnt bring myself to say what had happened. Everything became blurred. I became very cold and distant... The people who helped me out the most and Ill always hold close to my heart were Shelby Wood who came over and saw me first and slept beside me the whole night, Tripp Fowler and Autumn Preston for dropping everything in their lives to stay with me for a week and watch me graduate, and Reba Hernandez for giving me the slap in the face talk. Honestly, without Rebas talk I might still be in the same cold hearted state I was in. Three years have passed and I think Im finally healing. The hole that losing you created will never go away but over time it gets smaller. I can now 100% talk about you and smile. Yes, sometimes there is sadness but its a good sadness if that makes sense? I love you so much Trevor... Im still sorry to this day that I never had the courage to tell you, but I think you knew. :) So here I sit with a bottle of three year old cream soda and a sad smile on my face. A smile that you put there and a smile that I will try to maintain for many years to come. Im not afraid anymore Trevor... Thanks to you and your amazing soul Im able to tell people things and speak from my heart... Your heart was the grandest of them all and I know youre watching out for every single one of us. Its nice Roxy... *grins and holds up drink* this ones to you. Thanks for the memory and I hope I dont get sick from three year old soda. But hey, if I do at least itll give ya a laugh. ;) I love you forever and always, got that memorized yet? -Axel
Posted on: Thu, 08 May 2014 14:51:06 +0000
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