I understand that there are hostile forces in the world, whose sole focus is the expansion of their territory, and holding claim on the resources of others. I am respectful of the fact that when I am abroad in the greater world, I may encounter those despoilers, but that their actions in their own lands are their own business. So, as with all peace-seeking empires, it is our duty to acknowledge that war is a possibility, but to take measures against it. I have taken measures: I dont leave open food containers out, I rinse my cans and bottles before putting them in the recycling, and my food waste bin is self-contained. It keeps the peace. A steady, but uneasy peace. However, today, in an egregious breach of our non-aggression pact, I saw foreign invaders inside the borders of my land. The insurgents were dealt with efficiently and brutally, but I have a feeling that this small contingent was merely a reconnaissance team, backed by a larger force-in-readiness who believe that their numbers grant them the tactical advantage. Well, I tell you this, right now, leaders of the Ant-illes: This is your opportunity to avoid bloodshed on a grand scale. See me with your compound eyes and hear me well with your... uh... compound ears? Any further action by your nationals on the peace-loving land of Kitchenvania will be an act of war. You have one last chance before this nation cries havoc and lets slip the dogs of war. You may have the larger force, but I have weaponry of such fearsome destructive power that you cannot even comprehend the toxic hell I will unleash on your lands and your people. I will see not a single member of your whole society spared the cleansing justice of my wrath, and it will be terrible. It will be so mighty and awful that the burning of Atlanta will seem like a BBQ at a picnic. I fully expect ant carpetbaggers to show up in the wake of this total war. The next move is yours, ants. Consider your options wisely.
Posted on: Fri, 04 Apr 2014 22:02:24 +0000
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