I usually don’t do this, but I see that many people misunderstand a big part of who I am and of why I do certain kinds of music, so I want to explain something here shortly (or not so shortly, this post might become a bit longer^^). It has mostly to do with the sad, dark, melancholic songs that I make. Every now and then I notice how some people are surprised and even a bit shocked when I come with a song like this. I understand that songs with very dark and sad emotions are hard to deal with for some and I even hear sometimes from people who are actually afraid that I might be depressed. It’s very sweet of you that you worry about me but there is nothing to worry about.^^ However, I don’t make these songs just for “fun” either, and that’s what I want to explain: There are many styles of music I compose, and all of them for different reasons. I don’t make a song like “Panda Punch” for example because I have some deep emotional connection with Pandas, that song was made purely for fun, I just felt excited about it, like a kid playing with Lego.^^ Songs like “Aeternitas” or “Veiled” however have a very strong reason WHY I make them. I suffered from depression for a long time in the past and was very nihilistic and even suicidal. I started to make these sad, dark songs to create an opening through which all my sadness could escape, it was something I needed to do in order to heal. I am not depressed anymore but I still need that opening. I have a tendency to be way too sensitive and everything bad in the world feels like it hurts me personally. Every time I read or see in the news for example that someone died somewhere it just hurts. I somehow just cannot accept the cruelty of our world, and when I’m confronted with it, as far away as it may be, I get as sad and angry as if it would be about me personally. So I need to compose these songs to heal, and I will probably always need them. Ironically, the songs that I make with a really “evil” sound, like “Blood Night” are exactly the same for me, it’s the only way how I can deal with all the cruelty that exists in our world. I dont make these songs just because I think theyre cool, I make them to express a deep part of me. I know that most of my subscribers on YouTube are only listening to my Celtic songs, so I understand why when they accidentally stumble over a melancholic song like “Veiled” they are surprised by how heavy and dark it sounds compared to what they usually listen to from my songs. The thing is just that Celtic music is only about 10% of what I make. And if someone only listens to those 10% he will automatically also only know 10% about me. I know that 90% of people won’t even read this far xD, but for the rest who is still reading I want to say Thank you! And please don’t worry about me when I upload a sad song, these songs help me, so it’s the exact opposite. =) I really understand that they are hard to listen to for many people but I speak from experience when I say that they are necessary, not only for me but also for others who go through hard times. I sometimes hear that “one shouldn’t” listen to sad songs when you’re depressed, but different people just need different things. If I would have only listened to happy songs when I had my depressions it would have become a disaster. The sad music is what helped me through it. So again, sad music = I’m fine! xD I hope that many who have been confused and shocked by the darkness in my music understand now why I do it and don’t worry anymore. =)
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 09:28:46 +0000