I walk down this path, thinking about everything i have said in done, not everything was doom and gloom the way my mind likes to imagine it to be, ive had a nice life i suppose, made good decisions i made some bad ones, i guess thats what makes me, wondering if i am a man or just a boy pretending to be one, sometimes all i can do is sigh cause forever unsure is what i always seem to be, lacking grit is what i seem to be a problem, obtaining it is the eternal struggle, what will i make of this life is what i wonder, will i give up like i always do or am i finally serious about changing, you ask me that question and to be honest i dont really know, but all i can see is how messed up this world is how it desperately needs to change before it self destructs and then we are all left with nothing, but what am i to when i can not even get myself to do anything, who am i to believe that i can change this world, who am i but a mere insignificant speck in the whole cosmic scheme, my words merely empty without anyway to back them up what am i to do? I stare into the mirror and try to see beyond it but it is impossible, stuck inside i am, unable to break out and break the cycle, this self destructive cycle that will be the very end of me, the sounds of bells singing of my death will ring soon if i do not act soon, i need to raise my flag and my beliefs and fight for them now while i still can but now the water is rushing in on my trying to drown me and pull me down, and i fight and i fight and i so desperately fighting till everything is spinning out of control and then one decision leads to a worser one and a worser one dragging me on and on and on till the pits of despair open up and swallow me up but i fight and fight and it spits me up, and i lay on the floor covered in vomit and acid but struggling to stay alive struggling to get my message out there before its to late and hands reach out to be beating me and trying to destroy me but i run and run and run trying harder to escape my pursuers and when i look back they are all me and i am trying to run from myself from this pain from this hate from this despair from this self inflicted prison where i am slowly suffocating myself not allowing myself to grow or to change what kinda of life is this, is this the life i want to lead what am i supposed to do, insanity is my very nature how do i change that what is this life for dragging on and on and on that is what its doing and its enjoying the chances it has to torture me and and and this is the end but fight it i shall, nobody what i feel, no matter what i think, i shall fight it, to make my dream come true to change the world is all i have, when i accomplish that i can die at peace knowing i did my part to make a better future for everyone, i would like to say thank you for everyone that has put up with me, my family especially because to be honest i put them through hell, and for all those friends that where there for my the good times and the bad you know me all so well and i cherish all my friends though if you cherish mine i know nought, but the person that deserves to be thanked the most is God himself because without him i would not exist nor would i be alive thank you, i bid you all a good night and let my words pour into the crevices of all your souls and give you a broader understanding of what i experience in my heart, mind and soul, good night everyone and God bless
Posted on: Fri, 06 Sep 2013 04:38:33 +0000
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