I was at the tanning bed and something happened that has me in awe. I was thinking about my ex husband..well, not really about him, but how my life with him was hell...about how he was so abusive to me - mentally, physically, and verbally. He was the worlds biggest asshole but the biggest pussy in town because he would NEVER face a man like he would me. Anyway....he would always tell me that if I left him I would never be nothing, I would never have nothing, and nobody would ever want me. I believed him for awhile. I was never allowed to work or even leave the house for that matter. I was not allowed to use the phone or drive. I was basically a prisoner. One day I finally realized I needed to get out. What I did was probably wrong, but it was my only option given my situation. I sneaked to the dhs office and filed as separated. I lied. I did this to get food stamps. See...he would give me $100 a week to get groceries. Instead of using the cash he gave me, I would pay with food stamps and hide the money. Once I saved enough, I was able to get an income based apartment, have my lights turned on, buy some cheap dishes, a used couch, and a phone. Thats all I had. That and a clunker piece of crap Cavalier. I paid on my apartment, took my things little by little so he wouldnt notice, & finally sneaked out one day....him not suspecting a thing. I refused to continue living on the government so I immediately got a job, got my boys into after school child care, and I made it happen. Things were super hard. The hardest times of my life but I had goals and I had two sons I had to set an example for. Anyway...back to the tanning bed...the song Broken Wing by Martina McBride came on. I used to listen to that song constantly. It was about me. This song helped me get through tough times. It was odd how it came on as I was thinking of the comparison of my life then vs now. To make it even more weird was when I took off my earrings to get in the tanning bed, I noticed they were angel wings. I wanted to call that mother fu**er right then and there and say you know what asshole! I made it! I AM somebody, I have MORE than you ever will, and Ima keep getting even BETTER! So for anybody out there that thinks they are stuck where they are, youre not. Get over the pitty party, make a plan, and go for it! I am living proof you can do it!
Posted on: Sat, 25 Oct 2014 23:32:05 +0000
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