I was expected to be a part of a group this weekend. Friday night after a 4 hour bus trip I had dinner. The large round tables couldnt fit all the members at the table. I had to sit at some other table with strangers. After Supper I was so exhausted that I went directly to my room and took my psych meds. I went to bed even though I was supposed to be at a mandatory meeting. The next day the Director of the McNair program yelled at me for missing the meeting. This was on Saturday morning. There were three other mandatory meetings on Saturday, all of them I attended. I sat in the back row during these three meetings or presentations and every other person who attended the meetings from my group didnt sit next to me. They all sat in the front row including the program director. The members of my group rejected me. This happened three times. After the postor presentations I went to my room. I wasnt hungry. I took my psych meds and went to bed. I receive two phone calls on my room line that I didnt answer. I was sleeping. The Director of the program had her husband barge into my room with security gaurds flashing their lights into my room and waking me up. I told Chuck I was fine. I was staying in my Hotel room for the rest of the night. Everybody in my group heard about it, embarrassing me and humiliating me. What a nightmare. The director put me in a room with a complete stranger. That made me feel really good. If I would have known that I wouldnt have come. Everybody else was with a friend or husband in their private rooms. And the director didnt even tell me about it until I found out for my self in the the situation. I woke up at three AM that night because my roommate had to pack up and leave. I went to breakfast and sat with the others but I really wanted a private table. After I had breakfast Chuch had the nerve to ask me-dont you want to stay a while? Would you want to be around a group of people that had rejected you the past day? I went to my room and told Kelly to call me when they were leaving. I confronte Mary Seamans to her face and all she could do was yell back at me. She has no idea how to treat someone with a mental illness. I dont have the high functioning around people, like normal people do. I cant wake up and be around people 16 hours a day. I have to take my meds and fall asleep after about 13 hours. But I was demonized as being a bad person. Im just a mentally ill person trying to graduate from Oshkosh.I dont want anything to do with the McNair program from now on. Im not going to let people use mr to look good on paper so they can keep their jobs. I dont care if you people side with me or not. I know Im my own best friend.
Posted on: Mon, 11 Nov 2013 01:33:01 +0000
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