I was having such a wonderful day, guys. I had coupons! Sushi with salmon and avocado and cucumber. Avocado tuna salad. Milk chocolate. The creamiest silkiest buttery deep red lipgloss and red lipstick ever (not the same brand). Satiny velvet peptide skin serums. Prescription refills and a free phone charger plus cord. Too much spasticity. Too much hemiplegia and hemiparesis and hypertonia and tremors. I cant lift my legs enough to march standing for my exercises. My left arm refuses to be normal, with excessive internal shoulder rotation, arm and wrist flexion, thumb in palm symptom. The muscles in my throat and mouth areas are tired and weak. I probably sounded intoxicated all day. Its the only time I get palsy accent. I was having too much trouble processing all that sensory input. All I could do was smile brightly and say socially acceptable things that I had to remind myself of. Other customers saw my pain and accurately guessed cerebral palsy and fibromyalgia and autism and epilepsy and sensory processing disorder and attention deficit disorder primarily inattentive - that sort of sympathy made me almost cry. People are fairly lovely sometimes. I am still hurting so much. So so much. But people who didnt know me had empathy. Strangers helped pick up my fallen cane, helped me to a seat, helped arrange my shopping totes to make it easier. Someone in line behind me at Ulta insisted on paying for my purchases. Now every time I apply those cosmetics I will remember that strangers generosity and her shining green eyes and silky curls and wide smile. We had both bought the same concealer, in shades at both ends of the light to dark shade spectrum. She said: Yeah, fibromyalgia is hideous. I have a feeling these are comfort buys. Let me get those for you. Maybe itll at least help you on an emotional level. I know what its like to hold back the sobbing in public. Names were never exchanged. The last thing she said was You are really beautiful. I think that makeup will enhance you until you look like a goddess. Please feel okay soon. I empathize so much. Tears in those green eyes. All I could do was whisper Thank you, thank you. You are so beautiful too. And then I walked out with my bag, holding back a sob of gratitude. And then, sushi. And still pain. But emotional relief.
Posted on: Thu, 11 Dec 2014 02:25:45 +0000
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