I was watching that Little House on the Prairie episode where Laura has the hots for some older boy who may or may not have been new in town, Im not sure. I missed that part and Im ashamed of myself for not remembering it from my childhood, because Im usually amazing at recalling useless information like every word of dialogue from an episode of Laverne and Shirley or all of the song bits from an 80s compilation album commercial. But anyways... Laura was into this dude who may or may not have been new, but was definitely dorky looking and in no way worthy of Lauras creepily young affections. She kept trying to figure out how to get his attention and be his girlfriend and I kept yelling Hang in there Half-Pint! Almanzo will be yours soon and hes one hot piece of man meat! But she wouldnt listen. She kept being all moony eyed over this nerd and making a fool out of herself over him. It was embarrassing. Then he asks Pa if he can study with Mary, and he gives him this big spiel about how hes do dumb and Marys so smart and blah blah blah and Pa is too stupid to know that translates into I wanna get in Marys bloomers, so he says yes. So after what seems like forever, Laura finally gets the hint that dorky dude has it bad for Mary and its like, pity party time. But, ya know, Mary is really hot and Laura has those teeth, so until Almanzo comes along thats just how life is gonna go. But Laura gets her revenge in an episode a few seasons later, when she poisons Mary and she goes blind. Nobody knew that thats what caused it because there wasnt any CSI back then, but its true. Trust me. I just know these things. Jealousy is a hazel eyed monster with buck teeth, freckles, and a dog named Bandit.
Posted on: Sun, 26 Jan 2014 01:01:06 +0000
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