I wish I could write like Bob Ellis The Three Worst Things The Liberals Did Yesterday (91) Posted by Bob Ellis on October 23, 2014 The unindicted child tormentor Scott Morrison proposed to make himself Obergruppenfuhrer in charge of locking up Doctors Without Borders returning from Africa on a new Devil’s Island he would harshly administrate. Other Cabinet Ministers called this ‘a grab for power’ by an ‘increasingly deranged’ foul-hearted tongue-speaking man. The search for proof that Abbott was an Australian continued fruitless. It seemed he would have to resign, and give back all the money he earned as an MP, plus interest. Word came through that the missile that brought MH 17 down was Ukrainian, and captured, perhaps, by pro-Russian rebels. This meant Putin had nothing to do with it, and Abbott would have to apologise for threatening to physically attack Putin and accuse him of mass-murdering Australians when he came to Brisbane. Aleksey Pushkov, of the Duma’s Foreign Relations Committee, said he, Abbott, was ‘extremely exposed’ by his premature lunatic libel of the most powerful man in the world. ‘You take care before you make such an accusation,’ Pushkov said. ‘You do not go off like, how you say, a hairy goat.’ Greg Sheridan, a Liberal voter, called Whitlam’s ‘the worst single government Australia ever had’, though he did not nominate a single policy, out of hundreds, he disagreed with. He said there was no ‘serious documentary’ made about Menzies, forgetting the ABC one about him and Churchill. He said Whitlam was ‘economically disastrous’, though he well knew the Hayden Budget was blocked because it would have worked. He said ‘only’ 19,000 conscripts ever served in Vietnam, chosen because of their birthdays, and unable to vote, and genitally crippled, some of them, by Agent Orange, in a war we lost, a mere bagatelle. 19,000 is one third of the Australian dead in World War 1. What a loathesome, third-rate, grovelling, overpaid Faust he is entirely. He must say, now, which of Whitlam’s policies he opposed, or spend a billion years in a small, cold room in Hell transcribing longhand Murdoch’s wrong predictions, over and over, with an inkhorn and a feather. Abbott was revealed to have spent 254,000 on a table and some chairs and their transport to the APEC summit, money that might have gone to our soldiers, or our dead soldiers’ children, plus 150,000 on some computer tablets, 120,000 on ‘advice’ on ‘leasing armoured vehicles’, 34 million for security guards and 10 million for hotels. The 44 million 524 thousand thus spent would have kept ten small theatre companies going for a thousand years on the interest alone. But it was ‘well worth the expense,’ Abbott said, ‘to keep the mass murderer Putin comfortable for three days, and well fed on Queensland rump steak, and anxious to buy more of it, which he has unaccountably, lately, refused to.’ Abbott’s Billionairesses’ Baby Bonus had only one supporter in Cabinet, himself, the afr in sorrow reported. ‘Economic lunacy’ is how Hockey, the Treasurer, is said to have described it. ‘Paying one woman nothing to have a baby,’ he fumed, ‘because she has no job, and six other children, and another woman fifty thousand dollars, though she is wealthy already, is not, as Tony calls it, equality.’ All bebbies or born eekval,’ Cormann jeered. ‘Bert serm are more eekval zan uzzairs.’ He chuckled at his little joke, while others put their heads in their hands. Abbott, losing it, called ISIL a ‘godless death cult’. Dutton, losing it, called Labor’s concern, and America’s concern, with the world plague Ebola ‘a scare campaign’, and demanded his government’s neglect of this pandemic be ‘bipartisan’. The next Black Plague, and his insouciance about it, he said, was too serious a matter to be ‘politicised’, or even spoken about. And so it went.
Posted on: Thu, 23 Oct 2014 07:54:00 +0000
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