I would have rather called myself a rescuer, savior, fixer - TopicsExpress

I would have rather called myself a rescuer, savior, fixer anything but co-dependent. Doesnt that sound weak, like an addiction? But it was the truth! When I was able to do my own internal work and inventory. I realized I was running circles around the family narcs. Appeasing, reciprocating, kowtowing. Before we knew exactly what I was I thought I was being the peace maker. Because I was great at circumventing the narcs rages...sometimes. I intervened and took the beatings they deserved most times. and got blamed for the family disfunction all the time. I was a failure at peacemaking. I took care of them, took them into my home on their made up claims of abuse only to be abused by them when they were ready to move on and I asked myself Why the hell am I still doing this? Appeasing, rescuing, kowtowing, peacemaking..Lets be clear, I was never a peace maker, It was alway a false peace, as fake and phony as the masks they wear. So who was I really trying to rescue? Maybe myself? No, I was never a savior. I was a scapegoat and Co-dependent...

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