IM A RACIST (kicking of Black history month with a bang) I have been called a racist. More than once, in fact. It usually follows me telling a joke or making a very dry remark. Here is my go-to, youre a racist story. In my old club stand-up act, (which differed greatly from the show I eventually did in Churches), I did a bit about tattoos. It ended with the following: I dont understand why Black guys get tattoos. I paused a football game the other day to try and figure out what this guys tattoo was. It was like one of those magic eye posters, popular in the 90s. I even tried crossing my eyes and staring for 10 minutes, but I never saw the sailboat pop out. Tattoos on Black guys are like Black on Black crime: Nobody ever sees a thing, and nobody cares. OK. Now take a breath. Some of you are jumping to the comment section right now with Das Racist!! Youre probably linking the Youtube clip now (Google it if you havent seen it). I had a Black comic tell me, Youre racist. Some of you may agree. Now lets do the most horrifically boring thing a comedian can do, and dissect a joke. Part 1: I cant make out the tattoos on Black skin. That is an observation about my poor eyesight, but is also based in fact. If you watch any of the tattoo reality shows, (sorry, Im occasionally guilty of this), inevitably you will see an episode where they talk about how hard it is to find colors that ‘pop and arent muted on African-American (which I will be – agree or disagree – from here on out referring to as Black) skin. There is a problem creating contrast with darker skin tones and ink. Part 2: Magic Eye/Sailboat This is solely a reference to one of my favorite 90s movies, Mallrats. If you dont know it, you may not fully enjoy that nugget, but for fans of that flick, its a great callback. Part 3: Black on Black Crime – the Biggie Here is the real issue when it came to my bit. This is the one that sent people into a frenzy. They think either: a. Youre saying Black on Black crime doesnt matter. b. Youre saying nobody should care about it. c. Youre White and have no standing to comment on such matters. d. Kneejerk White guy say Black thing = racist. OK, so lets break them down, sub-list style a. Im not. Im pointing out, as MANY Black pundits and civil rights leaders have, that Black on Black crime is ignored by a LOT of people. Also, Black on White crime, (and vice versa), seems to lead the news on any particular night. Many Black leaders view the biggest epidemic in their communities, not to be racism from Whites, but the in-fighting amongst their own members. You can agree or disagree with them on that point, but thats another discussion. b. Im not. Im saying a LOT of people dont care about it. Im also noting, as many have before me, that there is a see nothing, tell nothing viewpoint when it comes to the matter. Whether it be, a person that doesnt wish to be involved, or the issue that within some communities, (Black AND White), there is an insular nature that doesnt like, or trust the police. This keeps a lot of crimes from being reported or solved. c. I can. Not because Im White or not White. Not because I have Black children (I didnt at the time). Not because Im better than anyone. And certainly not because Im racist. I can comment on it, because I SEE it. Its called Social Commentary, which is defined as: a spoken or written act of rebellion toward an individual or group; commentary on social issues or society. I think I hit on both of those. I dont agree with the practice of ignoring the crime, solely based on color, and Im pointing it out. Also, I personally rebel against this notion that I have no right to comment on the subject (or ANY subject) at all. I have SOOO many more opinions, just like, ummm… YOU. I dont share them all. Be thankful. When I realize that an opinion IS based in something as dark as envy, hatred, or race, I challenge myself to crawl out of that hole and seek forgiveness, and a better understanding of that particular topic. d. Kneejerk is the only way I see someone believing Im racist from the joke. If thought through intellectually, as Ive attempted to do here, that seems the only way it squares. Some of you may be thinking that all of this comes from a life of privilege and protection based on being White. Im sure that some of my thoughts and opinions DO come from that place – and I hope to challenge and change them. This wasnt one of those cases. I guess I should address the folks that say, Meh, it might not be racist, but it wasnt funny either. Point taken. Humor is subjective. If youll allow me to boast… When I was doing this particular routine, very early on I might add, I was in an ‘Urban club, located in Kansas City. ‘Urban is a term used by comedy clubs (and the news) so they dont have to say Black. If you asked a comic what the club is, 9 out of 10 will just say its a Black club. The 1 guy who doesnt say it, is usually trying way too hard to make sure you think he never sees color. Well, my joke killed at this particular club. I got an ooohhh that turned into rolling laughter. This is my favorite type of laugh, because you can feel the audience challenging the joke in their mind, and then accepting it for what it is… funny. Here is the most recent joke I made, relating to race. It was on my comic strip site, ForeverFamilyComic. You can see it here: forevercomic/black-market/ . Basically its me trying to sell my newborn White baby to pay for my Black childrens, (FYI we use the colors Brown and Pink in our house, unless… you know… youre REALLY White or Black), college fund. Im not gonna break it down in list format, but despite what celebrities are doing to get on magazine covers, White babies are WAY more in demand than Black babies. And if my wife and I had rented a very fit, in-shape White couple to pose as Ollies parents, we could have made BANK! This actually happens all the time, here in the U.S. Pardon the apparent pun, but there is a big Black market for White babies. I could never sell Ollie, (feel free to make me an outrageous offer – I may have a weak, sleep deprived moment and say yes), but I dont mind joking about it. My son CJ and I laugh about race all the time. I want to instill in him a LOVE of his differences, while pointing out were all really the same. While I cant, in good conscious, get behind all of the things he said, the now deceased & Black comic, Patrice ONeal was always quick to point out, Theres racIST and racIAL. Some people see the line differently. Some people dont know there IS a line. I teach my son this: If you think someone is LESS than or BETTER than, because of their/your race? Youre racist. If you see a difference in culture that you dont like or approve of, thats not, despite what we are told day in and day out, racist. It can be ignorant at times. Ive certainly been guilty of it. However, I can have disdain for the way elitist White culture rolls over minorities and still roll my eyes at a Black man who thinks his sound system is so great he blares it next to me at a stop light. My son can vouch for the second one. No matter what your race, if your fenders are rattling from the bass, he hears the word, idiot leave my lips. Lets stop jumping to the quick and easy opinion that someone is racist because they dont like something about a person whos a different color then they are. It could just be that person is an idiot. At some point both parties are acting like morons, but lets leave the damning and shameful (as it should be) title of racists for the true offenders. There are entire tribes of people being wiped off the map due to race. There are social service agencies that would rather children sit in loveless foster homes, than place them with a family of a different race (I have firsthand knowledge of this). There are murders and injustice every day, done by people who truly think they are above other races. Lets look to fix those issues before we nitpick every word and joke that comes out of someones mouth. Feel free to share your thoughts, be it how wrong I am, or if you begrudgingly agree. You can find this post at ForeverFamilyComic or look me up on Facebook at Facebook/ForeverFamilyComic.
Posted on: Mon, 03 Feb 2014 15:55:08 +0000
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