If you must leave me dont let it be today. Give me time to grow used to the idea of having to live without you. Give me time to prepare my heart to beat alone. Dont leave me today. These are the words that I wanted to say to you but too late for me to do. You left in an unpleasant surprise. Its been a year and few months but it still causes me to mourn for you up until this very day. I am still hurting deeply inside. I am still longing for you. I am still living to the idea of self denying, the fact that youre gone and will never come back ever again in my life. Were the number one best of friends, Lola dear! I still miss you so badly. I still cry each night to wanting to hold you in my arms, to seeing you preparing your delicious foods for your children, never fails to caring for them, everyday. You always and never forgets to spare me some of your prepared meals. You knocked right through our door, calls my name...(Hey, ta! Tata..ta!) and I knew I have something nice from you, coz when I opened it, there you were, standing by, looking at me smiling, offering something to feed for myself when timingly, I starve for hunger. (Thats very sweet of you, la! Thank you Lola, dear!) I still want you around, Lola dear, to eventually hug and kiss you on your forehead, on your cheeks, to childishly pinch your nose, like I used to do to you every single day of our lives when youre still around, when we were still together. I am still making believe youre alive, just home where we talked and laughed a lot, brainstorming, exchanging ideas and points of view, sharing eachothers good company, dear grandma! I wish I was there when you were fighting for your life, dear grandma. I could have ask and beg God..please dont, please Lord, no, please not now. The last time I had you was when I visited you home and brought you a dozen apples, your most favorite fruit. And I never realized that was the last gift of your existence that I will ever enjoy being with you. You are the most loving, and caring wife to Lolo dear, mother to uncles, aunties and mom, grandmother to me and great grandmother to my son. You will always be the best grandma I ever had in this world. You will always be my favorite, very special to me. I MISS YOU SO MUCH, la. I will always miss you and I will always love you forever.
Posted on: Thu, 31 Oct 2013 04:25:22 +0000
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